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Have Adoption Failures Prepared You for Motherhood? How were your first few weeks of motherhood?
Posted: 18 February 2010 02:42 AM   Ignore ]  
Total Posts:  18

In my new blog post I talk about how past pregnancy and adoption struggles have prepared me for future parenting issues. Has that been true for you?

Posted: 18 February 2010 08:21 PM   Ignore ]  
Total Posts:  31

well, I’m not sure past Infertility or adoption struggles have prepared me to better handle race-related issues that might arise, but I do feel the struggles have contributed positively to my parenting. I think I am a more patient person now than when we first started trying to conceive (of course I’m also older now…so that could also be a contributing factor). I think I am also better able to ‘not sweat the little stuff’ than I was earlier in life.

Posted: 23 February 2010 07:26 PM   Ignore ]  
Total Posts:  40

Renee your joy as a new mother has been heartwarming to read. I’m thinking you may have to change your tagline from diary of a hopeful mother to…a joyful mother?!

Posted: 24 February 2010 01:13 AM   Ignore ]  
Total Posts:  18

Thanks for the replies! Stacy, I appreciated your comments so I changed my profile - not sure where to go to edit my tagline though….

Posted: 24 February 2010 01:35 AM   Ignore ]  
Total Posts:  47

Hi, your tagline has been updated!

AFC Editors

Posted: 02 March 2010 03:26 AM   Ignore ]  
Total Posts:  1

I am so happy for you.  Miles is beautiful.
One thing I have learned dealing with loss is to cherish my children.  What helps me is when I am dealing with their special needs or they are just being ornery I always have in the back of my mind how much I wanted & fought for them.  The first few weeks, although I am happy, are really hard on me.  It takes me a while to get my groove & routine.  When I have gotten new little ones I feel most settled after 2 months.

Posted: 02 March 2010 07:08 AM   Ignore ]  
Total Posts:  15

Adoption failures did not prepare me for being a mother.  It just flat out hurt and I couldn’t enjoy my son fully, in his first few weeks with us, until both sets of parental rights had been terminated.  I didn’t allow myself to really become attatched because I knew the reality was, at any moment, it could change.  So when I held him for the first time I didn’t allow myself to want him or to fall deeply in love with him.  I just held him like I would any other child that wasn’t my child.  When finally it was done, there was no way for his birthparents to come back, then I could breathe and let myself begin to think of myself as his mom.  Until then I was just going through a routine to provide care for him.  Sounds harsh I know….but I was not going to go through that type of loss again.  In our first match we were present for the birth of the baby girl.  We held her, rocked her, sang to her, and took a ton of pictures.  On the day we were to bring her home her mother changed her mind.  She told us this will be the child that allows her to quit drinking and drugging.  I support any woman’s right to change their mind - but how she did it, the timing, and also the lies were just too much.  She new if that girl was born white she would raise her.  But a biracial child she didn’t want.  If she had told us the truth we could have been a little more prepared.  If she had told us the truth we would not have chosen her to be matched with us.  I am angry at what she did.  Not because she decided to parent her child.  I am angry because she stole my first few days with my son.  The memory of what she did still was with us and I just couldn’t get past it.