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respite issue

I was asked to provide respite for a 6 yr old, told she had add. Was asked to do it for two weekends, i said i’d let them know about the second weekend after we saw how the first went. When she was dropped off i was told she had adhd and severe rad. First day, she was rocking backwards on a chair, i told her to stop so she wouldnt get hurt, she immediately leaned back further and said “but will i die?”. Second day she told me she was going to stab herself to death. I hid the knives. Third day she was using some kids makeup, and asked me if it was poison. I said yes, she said, “then i guess im going to die because it tastes good” and ate some. It was nontoxic, but she didnt know that, she was intentionally trying to poison herself. I called the oncall worker to report that she appeared to be suicidal.  I was told she probably just missed her foster family, dont worry about it. I reported everythinf to her foster mom at drop off. She thanked me for taking care of the little girl, then said she hoped i would consider taking her again. Next day i got an email from her worker, asking me to do respite again. I called her, told her id be glad to, and filled her in on what the little girl had said. She thanked me for letting her know, and i havent heard back since. They were so keen for me to take her again before i made my report, i cant figure out why they dont want me to now. Im worried they are blaming me. A friend suggested they are jyst irritated i made a big deal our if it, cuz now they have to address the provlem. I hope this is not the case. Anyone have another perspective?


Yes they may be having her evaluated in an in patient hospital so do not need the respite.

HIPPA laws would probably preclude you from knowing that as you do not need the information right now.

Or she could have been moved to residential treatment’

or she could have been moved to another foster home.

You always need to report such serious information and you did the right thing. How would you have felt if you didn’t report and she killed herself?

Posted by Regina on Aug 12, 2015 at 2:41am

Thank you regina, ive been worried they thought i was over reacting. I hope they are taking it seriously, hope they havent contacted me because shes been moved to somewhere she can get more help. I honestly hadnt thought of that, they all seemed so unconcerned when i reported it. Its justso sad, she is so young.

Posted by rn4kidz on Aug 12, 2015 at 3:10am

I can tell you from experience that many caseworkers prefer their foster parents to be mushrooms. In additiontime tend to avoid foster homes where the caregivers know the responsibilities of the caseworkers.  What you can do is create a documentation trail, including securing professional diagnostics, that cannot be ignored by caseworkers and the courts. Your own caseworkers know your background, and most likely value it. Others in the same office prefer foster parents who simply do what they’re told, and make it easy for the caseworker to do things like lie about a child’s history because finding a respite family is harder when they tell the truth. Never mind that the child needs a particular environment and caregivers should know the risks.  For example. You take the child for respite. The child seriously injured herself. The caseworker wants to protect themselves from accountability. Their solution? Remove ALL children from your home. Lift your foster care license, and tell the judge they resolved the issue, by claiming that you failed to adequately supervise the kids in your home and the child’s injuries are due to your neglect.  The supervisor who knows it’s a lie goes along because she also has liability, and hanging it on you is the easiest way out.  After all, as a foster parent, you have no rights and they don’t have to prove anything in court. You could lose all your other kids, they don’t care. I wish I was lying…

Posted by hdctx on Aug 12, 2015 at 4:45am

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