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needing advice

We have been considering adopting our first child as an older child, I want them to know from the bottom of their heart that we chose them, and I want them to be able to choose us.
My question is, would it be a possibility to allow the child to see our file before letting them meet us?
Any comment will be appreciated.


I doubt any child would need to see your whole file. It would have information that they do not need to know like income, debt, past divorces, references etc. Some agencies have you make a book to share with pictures of the house pets etc. It could be geared to a child’s age like what you would make for a 6 year old would be different than what you make for a 14 year old

Their choosing you (they may live with you for a while or a long while before they trust enough to choose to let you in their lives) is a process. Saying I want to live with you doesn’t mean they are instantly attached, accept your family values and love you. It takes some time to build trust, attachment and love.Parents need to be patient and allow the child time to join the family emotionally even if the child has lived with you for a time (sometimes for years)

Posted by Regina on Sep 29, 2017 at 12:42pm

The agency I used does allow healthy limited views of profiles. I met an adoptee who absolutely did pick her parents! They are all thrilled and have a sweet family. This is when it is good to have a third party “agent” type situation through an adoption professional. Good luck! My love and prayers are with all waiting parents!


Posted by Jody Cantrell Dyer on Sep 29, 2017 at 1:19pm

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