The birth parents in our first match got married and they ended up choosing to parent.  I would be concerned, in your position.  If you aren’t being asked for any financial support and its a short match, I would wait it out.  However, if they are asking for fees or bmom support, I would consider walking away.  Also, if it’s a long match that will keep your profile from being shown for the next 3 months or more, I would also consider ending the match.

I’m so sorry to be the bearer of bad news.  I hope it all works out, for your sake.  Good luck!  =)

On a sad note, they may stick to the adoption plan because the birthfather may see it as parenting another man’s child and that may be something he has a problem with. So, they very well may stick to the plan…

On a sad note, they may stick to the adoption plan because the birthfather may see it as parenting another man’s child and that may be something he has a problem with. So, they very well may stick to the plan…

You never know. Hope for the best and go with your gut! Good luck!

It’s so herd to predict.  I just wanted to say that if they do decide to proceed with the adoption plan to make sure your attorney is aware of the marriage.  Her husband may be required to sign papers as well depending on the state.

Our experience was vaguely similar - kinda. In our second (disrupted) adoption, EMOM was married but was sure that her husband was not the dad. She said the father was an AA man who had attacked her, and the baby would be biracial. Her husband came with her to do all the pre-paperwork, and he had indicated a strong willingness to sign away his ‘legal father’ rights as her husband. We talked to her on the phone on a Friday night while we were in BBRUS looking at monitors and she helped us figure out which one to register for. Her delivered her baby the following Tuesday and never called the agency. We don’t know for sure what happened - DH thinks we were scammed of course but I think her son ended up being CC and they decided to raise him. Either way we were out some money - not a ton but enough to feel it a bit. And this was a short match (about 7 weeks) btw.

I would be wary of handing out birthmother support in this situation. I would be very clear on my agency’s policy on disrupted adoptions and the cost of a lost match before signing on the dotted line. I agree with Bookish on this one - time, money, heartache all need to be considered as you decide whether or not to accept the match.

Good luck. I’ll be interested to hear what you decide to do!