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book recommendations about how babies are 'made'

my 4 1/2 years old is starting to ask questions about the biology of how babies are made. He knows he’s adopted, but the question is how a woman and a man produce a baby. I’ve been researching books but they all talk about the mother and the father loving each other very much, etc, taking for granted the man and woman who contribute the sperm and egg are the parents of the child. Has anyone have recommendations of books that go into the biology of making a baby that are more appropriate for adopted children? Thanks!


Unless there is surrogacy or some other medical technological intervention, babies are made by their natural parents having sex. Even if in vitro, “the man and the woman who contribute the egg and the sperm are the parents of the child.”
Even if there is some kind of implantation/surrogacy, babies grow in the womb of the woman who delivers them.
Then, if an adoption takes place, the parents who adopt a child take on the role of parents to a child that they did not biologically create.
I can’t imagine any reputable books that would change the facts about “the biology of making a child.”
Why would an adoptive parent not want their child to know the truth of how babies are made? What kind of book do you imagine that would change this biological fact to make it “more appropriate for an adopted child?”

Posted by NoraT on Oct 04, 2019 at 9:29pm

I get what you’re saying - you’re not wanting to find a book that changes the actual “biology” but that maybe is a bit less focused on the part about “mother and father who love each other and care for the baby”. Surely that exists! I don’t know of one, but share if you have any luck!

Posted by Sidney's Mom on Oct 07, 2019 at 4:39pm

Thank you Sidney’s mom!! I’m still trying to understand why someone would write such a judgmental answer that does not accomplish anything positive. NoraT, if you are reading this, you need to know that your comment was hurtful and judgmental. I may not have phrased my question particularly well, but there was no reason to assume that as an adoptive mom I’m trying to change the facts about the biology of making a child.

To illustrate my point, if you read the classic ‘where did I come from’, it says “the man loves the woman. She gives him a kiss, and they hug each other very tight”. There are constant references to a happy couple with a happy support system who are delighted to have a baby.
I want a book that is consistent with my message that his birth mother could not take care of a baby at the time, and that she chose a family for him to grow happy and safe. The books I’m finding will make it very hard for him to understand why anybody would choose adoption for their biological children.
Thank you

Posted by abz_999 on Oct 07, 2019 at 5:02pm

Thank you. I also found this website, which has excellent suggestions

Posted by abz_999 on Oct 07, 2019 at 9:54pm

There’s a book called “How I was Adopted” which talks about the biology of birth as well as adoption.  I couldn’t;t find my copy to give you the author/exact title. 

Books we found helpful about reproductions are “What’s the Big Secret” (Krasny Brown & Brown authors), “it’s not the Stork” and “It’s so Amazing” by Harris.  Both of the books by Harris have sections about different kind of families including adoption.

Yes, I get what you are saying; two of my children are “birth father unknown”.  The books are trying to encourage kids to think of sex as something that is only ever part of a loving relationship, which is great, because that is what I want to teach my kids, too.  The reality is that not all children are conceived from loving, monogamous relationships, and not all children can stay with their birth families. 

Hope those books help.

Posted by jszmom on Oct 09, 2019 at 2:10pm

Thank you jszmom for your wonderful recommendations.

Posted by abz_999 on Nov 01, 2019 at 12:39am

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