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Why did you want to adopt?


Hi again, everyone. I have been reflecting on adoption lately and have been lucky to talk it over with several people who have gone through or are in various stages of the process. I realized it would be really beneficial for me to jot down why I want to adopt. I would also like to hear your reasons as well!

I want to adopt because…
I want to be a mom. I want to nurture a child. I want to tell them that they are beautiful and help them to discover their gifts and talents. I want to be their hero. NOT seeking praise that I saved them from a horrible life, but I want to be the one that scares away the monsters under the bed, the one that inspires them to do their best, and the one that *hopefully* will model for them what a healthy marriage looks like. I want to be the obnoxious woman screaming her head off on the sidelines when they score a point. The one who puts their artwork on the fridge and reads to them at night. I want to be there for my child for always. I want to adopt because when I hear about a child who doesn’t have a mom or dad my heart aches. And I can’t think of a reason why I should not adopt. I’m not saying it is not a difficult path. But this is my reason why.

Replies

I wanted to adopt because I wanted to be a mom, but I didn’t want to be pregnant.

That turned out to be a good thing, because 1 year after we were married, I ended up being injured and now have a chronic condition that requires me to take meds that are incompatible with pregnancy.

Posted by rredhead on Feb 25, 2013 at 12:56am

I didn’t think I wanted children. Had a pretty crappy childhood - abusive, neglected - and wanted to stop the cycle. When my mother passed away I realized I had made all of my decisions in reaction and decided that I wanted more than just my life…not just me, myself and I to worry about…but I did not want to continue the genes in case the issues that plagued us for generations were inherited…and I also had no desire to be pregnant. So adoption was perfect for us and amazingly easy (the process, not the parenting, which as they say is the toughest job you’ll ever love). We heard all the horror stories about the time, the money, the refusals, but it all went very smoothly for us, proving again that it was the right decision…meant to be…and now we have a gorgeous, amazing, brilliant, happy little 3 1/2 year daredevil…the perfect family.

Posted by LizLee on Feb 25, 2013 at 6:50am

When I was around 22 I read an article about kids aging out of the system,  and I thought that was awful.  Indiana does not have a lot of programs/funding/options and some of those kids are put out even before finishing high school.

I was blessed with an amazing family and wanted to share that with kids that didn’t have it.  I have just adopted my second 12 year old,  and plan to continue adopting more as long as I am able.

Posted by Adoption Rocks on Feb 25, 2013 at 7:38am

I’m still very much at the beginning of the adoption process, but here’s the reason for me:

Adoption is a very individual, personal choice.  For me and Bee, it has nothing to do with fertility or age—we just happen to be two people who want to build our family this way.

Since I was very young, I have always known that adoption would be the way that I would add to my future family.  It started with the books I read as a kid—so many of them featured plucky orphans!—but it grew to be a real desire as I grew up and learned more about orphanages.  There is, frankly, a huge need in our world for people to step up and find loving homes for children who don’t have them.

I was lucky enough to marry a man who feels the same way that I do about adoption.  We’re sure that we would love having a biological child, but there are already so many children who are here who don’t have access to the opportunities that a biological child of ours would have just by virtue of being born into a white middle-class American family.  We want the chance to make a difference and to provide opportunity to someone who doesn’t have it.  We want to do some good, and this is one way that we can.

So, why choose to adopt?  For us, it really boils down to this: it’s the right thing for us.  Does that mean we’ll never have biological children?  That remains to be seen.  Maybe we’ll continue adding to our family that way, but we want to enjoy one child first and see where that takes us.

We know that adoption will be hard, that there could be problems with attachment and bonding and cultural differences and developmental delays, but we’re game for a challenge.  After all, parenting any child is a challenge, isn’t it?

Em @ http://bringinghomebebe.tumblr.com

Posted by HeyMockingbird on Apr 04, 2013 at 4:03am

Adoption has been my first choice since I was 14. I knew I wanted a demanding career and a family.. I simply had no intention of waiting for a guy. Wouldn’t you know it: I was blessed to marry my best friend and he also considered adoption as a primary choice because his parents were both adoptees! We found shortly after marriage that it was a bad idea to try to carry to term due to a genetic condition and most recently that it is heriditary at a rate of 50%. It’s like kismet that we never had our hearts set on the idea of procreation. Most recently, the plight of kids aging out of the system grabbed our attention, as I work with abused teens. Even with improvements in the foster care system & college tuition, few can study hungry or homeless. 5 years later, I’m less career crazy & we are both ready!

Posted by Myri&AJ; on Jul 07, 2013 at 4:00am

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