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Infertility Support

Where do I fit in?

We are back at fertility “treatments” after having suffered several failed adoption attempts.  I feel I am in such a weird position.  I don’t fit in with people currently trying to adopt.  I don’t fit in with people who haven’t ever tried to adopt.  I just don’t fit in. 

We are not going the traditional American fertility treatment route this time, so I don’t fit in there either.  We are using naturopathic treatments instead.  I am on bioidentical hormones, as well as a mixture of supplements and prescriptions. 

My latest blood work has shown that my hormone levels are lower than expected and I will have to bump up all my doses on everything I’m taking.  It is going to be many more months before I will even have a chance to ovulate. And there’s no guarantee that I will ovulate a viable egg. 

I am really starting to question whether I will ever be a mom or not.  Adoption was our first choice, and we started our first adoption attempt over 7 years ago.  We have gone between failed adoption attempts, to failed TTC attempts ever since. 

All our friends have or are currently having kids.  And yes, that is plural.  We have friends who claim they “tried really hard” to get pregnant, only to find out it took them 3 months of “trying” and they think that was tough. 

We have nowhere that we fit in, which makes this whole process even harder.


I have no ideas or suggestions for you but I can send you a ((hug))  sorry you are going through such a hard time.

Posted by comotoi on Jun 30, 2012 at 3:07am

Kat7 - I’m so sorry that this is all so hard.  Hopefully you have some relief in at least moving forward. 

For me, I always felt better if I had a backup plan - and I know nothing about your case, but if you are considering a fallback option if your current treatments don’t have the intended result, I wonder if you might consider donor embryos (not your DNA, but you carry the child and as such there is no failed adoption concerns) - just a matter of getting one embryo to stick. This is often an alternative when eggs and ovulation are the fertility issue.  Feel free to contact me if you want more details - it is a low cost alternative to traditional fertility treatments, and something that may give you a little of both worlds.

Posted by IVF Traveler on Jun 30, 2012 at 3:23am

Thanks for your kind words!  I needed a virtual hug today!  smile

Posted by Kat7 on Jun 30, 2012 at 5:30am

I’m sorry that you feel you don’t fit in and I hope you can find support on this Infertility Group as you transition from adoption to TTC again. I understand that part a bit… We also have been trying to start a family for 7 years, of which the last 4 have been the adoption process. We’ve had change of hearts and it’s been an excruciating and demoralizing process. I truly don’t believe we’re ever going to have a successful adoption.  If it were an option for us, we would have started assisted pregnancy treatments a year ago - changed gears since our adoption process has been so terrible.  So I can understand your shifting gears, and I can imagine how hard it would be to re-focus… That feeling of being in the middle and not fitting it anywhere. I wish you luck and I hope this new route you’re on refreshes your spirit.

Posted by Colorado Mama on Jun 30, 2012 at 11:27pm

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