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Toddler Adoption


Hi,
My husband and I are in the process to adopt a 2 year old who has been in foster care his entire life. He has amazing foster parents, as we’ve seen in recent updates. He’s been with them since he was 5 days old and will be until he boards the plane to come home. I am getting nervous and excited. I worry about the transition with us, especially since our friends and family—our support system—live 9 hours away (we’re military).
This will be our first child and we have been waiting for so long to start our family. I have several friends who have adopted, but I was just wondering if anyone here has any advice or suggestions to make our family’s transition easier, preferably someone who has adopted a toddler from foster care in Korea.

Replies

I’ve been doing a little reading on Toddler Adoption as we are also in the process and have requested an “older child.” 

“Toddler Adoption- The Weaver’s Craft” http://amzn.to/tTlFAP by Mary Hopkins-Best has been a good read.  Practical information presented in a way that makes the book easy to read.  She is an adoptive parent so she comes across as not just writer of an adoption book but a parent who has been through the process. 

I’m not finished with it but so far a lot easier and more practical then some of the other adoption books i’ve been reading. 

Blessings,
CLGarmon

Posted by 7600Miles on Oct 26, 2011 at 3:27am

I would prepare by reading and talking to other adoptive parents and getting as informed as possible… HOWEVER, there is a lot of “worst case scenario” stuff out there - please don’t let it worry you. For example, the book mentioned above covers a lot of stuff that “could” happen. It’s good to be aware so that you recognize those things if they happen, but every child is an individual and will transition differently. We just brought home an 18mo old from Korea, and he has transitioned great! The first week was rough. He grieved, and it took us awhile to get on a regular sleeping schedule, but we’ve been home almost 2 months now and couldn’t be happier. Feel free to PM me (if you can do that on this site) if you have any other specific questions. OH - and it’s actually probably a GOOD thing that you live a little far from family. It’s important that your child bonds to you and your husband first, and having anxious family around can be stressful. Finally, CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

Posted by JenA on Oct 26, 2011 at 5:16am

Thank you all so much!

Posted by Medea on Oct 26, 2011 at 10:52am

We just adopted our 23 month old son from Korea. We returned from Korea about 2 weeks ago. He’s had several changes in care, but is still adapting very well. We’ve seen some grieving, toddler tantrums and lots of smiles and laughter as well.
We had a wonderful trip to Korea and were able to meet his most recent foster parents and case worker, all who love him dearly. We look at their pictures and give them popos (kisses) daily. He is bonding with us very well and is adapting more quickly than we’ve expected.
I also recommed the book Toddler Adoption- The Weaver’s Craft. She does discuss a lot of worse case senarios so keep that in mind. But it’s best to be prepared with as much knowledge as possible so you’re prepared and then set your intentions that everything will go as smoothly as possible!
I also love the book Baby Whisperer for Toddlers. Not adoption oriented, just great reading about understanding toddlers. As well as What to Expect the Toddler Years.
It would certainly be nice for you to have family around but in the early weeks you’re going to be concentrating on his transition at home and bonding and attatchment. For this, it’s helpful if family isn’t constantly wanting to visit. Build a routine, keep things low key and take it at his/her speed.
We’ve made friends with other Korea adoptive families through our local agency and their shared experiences with their children already home have been invaluable. If you have a way to meet other adoptive families, especially transratial families, make the most of it. I have found they (and we) are all very supportive of one another!
Congratulations! We too, waited years to finally become a family, and I will tell you right now it was worth the wait! smile

Posted by SeoulsJourney on Oct 27, 2011 at 9:17am

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