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Still Single and 40 yet wants a baby


Hi everyone,

As single person 40 years old contemplating private adoption, please share with me what is the common biggest problems, challenges or top 2 frustrations you have in your adoption journey ?

Thank you so much for sharing..

Paul

Replies

Hi Paul. I adopted my son when I was 41yo and it was fairly seemless. I used an adoption consultant and now have my own business as an adoption consultant, which I highly recommend. It exposes you to a lot of agencies at one time, leading to a quicker match typically. If you are interested in learning more about that strategy or have any specific questions, I’m happy to hop on a call and walk you through it.  -Becca G.

Posted by RGAdopt on Nov 30, 2017 at 1:20am

Paul,

I originally planned to adopt in my forties, but unexpectedly found myself caring for both my aging parents,  so as a single, only child - I ended up adopting a baby in my early fifties, after losing my parents.
Haven’t met anyone with my circumstances which is isolating.

I originally thought I’d do private domestic adoption cross- racially. I realized that as an older, single person with no family - I was NOT going to be a great candidate in the online or agency route. Just too many younger couples out there searching.
Instead I pursued the international route! Made a list of 10 countries to research where I had a “heart connection” and would be able to keep up cultural ties ( as I had friends living there or other links).
Be prepared - Out of the 10 countries, I was not eligible in 9 because:
1) the cutoff for parental age was 40 or 45
2) some countries do not accept single parents.
But I am a person with a sincere faith commitment, and God provided—my one eligible country was a small island in the Caribbean. It took two years from homestudy completion, application submission in the country and waiting list (#5), her birth, then meeting her at age 3 month at her foster parents home, then bringing her home at but I ended up with the perfect daughter for me -  who came home at age 9 months.
Now, at a delightful age 4, I cannot remember those early frustrations. Feel free to correspond - what state are you in?

Posted by Skylar'sMom on Nov 30, 2017 at 3:53am

I am months away from my 40th, single,  and was Matched through US foster care to a perfect 8 month baby girl. Took 3 years of writing…well worth it…..would do it again.

Posted by CoraDee on Nov 30, 2017 at 8:28am

Thank you all for your thoughtful comment!!

Posted by PaulR on Dec 01, 2017 at 6:22am

Hi Paul,

I know you’re looking for challenges of private adoption, but just thought I’d throw my two cents in about foster/adopt.  One big problem that I found was how slow everything moves.  The snails pace at which case workers get back to you to inform you if you’ll be considered for a child you inquired about can take months, longer, or they just don’t respond.
I briefly considered private adoption of a baby, but after checking around a bit, none of the agencies had come across a single male looking to adopt and therefore could not tell me what the odds might look like for being chosen.  I suspect the odds are low, but
I looked into international adoption, but the U.S. is one of only a handful of countries that allow single males to adopt.
I tried international surrogacy several years ago (less expensive than U.S.), but the fetus was lost during the second trimester.

I just turned 48 and will be finalizing the adoption of my son next week.  He was placed with me when he was 12 and he is now 14.  Plenty of challenges, but he’s a pretty good teen.  I’m thinking about adopting one more and stopping there.  I’m past that place in my life where I feel like dealing with a baby solo.

Good luck in your journey! And may the Force be with you.

-Rex

Posted by Thor on Dec 08, 2017 at 4:21am

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