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Single guy considering first adoption - need help!


Hey folks!  Thanks for taking the time to read my post.  I’m really only just beginning this journey, but I have recently felt the need/calling to look at adopting.  I’m a single guy in my early 40’s living in North Carolina.  I’ve never been married and have no kids of my own, although I have always wanted kids.  I really don’t know where to start even with this post other than it would be great to hear from other single dads who have adopted or are in the process of adoption, and just to get an idea of what to do.  I’ve looked at some things online and I know I need to contact an adoption agency and all, but I’ve not made any calls or anything along those lines yet.  Again, this has just weighed heavily on my heart lately and I feel like I need to explore things and see where it goes.  I feel like I could give a child somewhere out there a great home, love & attention, and help them along their life journey.  I’d be very grateful to hear from anyone with any support, first steps, do’s & don’ts, your story, or anything to help me help a child somewhere along the way.  THANKS!

Replies

First off, you can do this as a single parent.  I don’t know what age(s) you are interested in or boys, girls or both.  You need to contact one of the many agencies and perhaps go to an orientation to see what the next steps may be.  I am not familiar with the requirements in North Carolina, but in Texas the training is free, the kids get Medicaid until they are 18 so all of their health needs are covered, the state pays a small stipend every month for their needs and the best of all, their college tuition and fees are paid for life.  I have made this journey 9 times over the past 30+ years and have sons ranging in age from 48 to 14.  Do it!

Posted by GangNet on Jun 27, 2019 at 3:17pm

I’m a single dad who adopted an older child from foster care and I’m currently in the process of working on an additional foster/adoption. I think the fact that you are at least considering the option of adoption is great.  I always say that adoption is not for everyone, but if you take the time to do the research, reflect why you would like to adopt, consider realistically what you could handle as an individual raising a child, and you feel at least semi-confidant that you could do it then go for it. smile  I think one of the most important exercises I took myself through was thinking about what type of child I was prepared for and what life would look like long term.  This introspection made me realize that bringing in a young child with multiple diagnoses and behavioral issues would be difficult to manage especially with my smaller support system.  So I landed on older kids (12 and up) with mild to moderate behavioral/medical issues.

I can’t really speak on domestic adoption other than none of the agencies I had contacted had ever placed a baby with a single father.  Nor can I speak on international adoptions since very few countries allow single males to adopt.  My experience has been foster care adoption in IL including interstate.  Every state seems to operate a little different, however, feel free to mesage me it you have any questions.

Posted by Thor on Jun 28, 2019 at 12:55am

I’m a single man who is currently in the process and searching for an older kid with my social worker.  My adoption agency in Maryland is very supportive of single parents, but I think the search process seems to take longer for singles as compared to married couples. Your post sounds very much like me - go for it!  Just start now if you truly want to adopt as the process can take a while.

Posted by William5446 on Jul 05, 2019 at 3:06am

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