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Preparing for the release of bf


Our kiddo’s (D) BF will be released from prison in less than one year. He is a violent offender and was the reason D was removed from the home instantly as he did bodily harm to her. Both BP relinquished their rights. Since then there has not been one attempt of contact from BM but frequent letters from dad. All of which have been held back for D to read in the future. D is 11 however requested at age 9 not to read any letters. So we just put ‘em up. So now almost 4 years since the last communication from BM she is amping up on social media. BM is posting about how much she misses her and can’t wait to hear her voice. Other family members are reaching out. This has caused D to have nightmares and we have put her back in therapy. Regardless of all of this we are taking precautions as we feel they will come down and try to see her or take her. We are going to attempt to get a restraining order and are getting security cameras and system.

How do we address this when they do show up? How do we explain to D why we won’t let her see them?

Fyi- BM admitted to joining a gang recently and is in/out of jail and the BF is violent.

This poor girl is emotionally immature and struggling daily. We firmly believe they will not do her any good.

Replies

Do they know your address? If she doesn’t want to see them cut off contact. Some self defense courses? Teach her what to do ie scream you are not my father if she sees him in public and he tries to take her

Block them on social media (she is 15 and immature you said she doesn’t need to be on social media at all or unsupervised)

You would have to talk to a lawyer re restraining order…but I doubt it would matter to them as they are not law abiding citizens.

If you can talk to local police/sheriff whoever. If they show up call 911 immediately and get some help. No one can be on your property without your permission. 

Tell them when she is ready she will initiate contact not them.

Since she was a victim you might be able to talk to his probation officer and have him help.

Posted by Regina on Jul 29, 2019 at 11:48pm

She is 11 and is not on social media at all. Her BM is. Sorry about that confusion. Thank you for your tips. I will look into them.

Posted by KinshipAdoption on Jul 30, 2019 at 12:08am

Oh I misunderstood. Sorry. She can always go on at school, at friends or library so it is hard to manage.

Posted by Regina on Jul 30, 2019 at 1:12am

Yes hopefully she makes the right choice on that. She will be in alot of trouble if she does.

Posted by KinshipAdoption on Jul 30, 2019 at 8:59pm

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