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We adopted my daughter at age 8, however she has live with us for a total of 5 years. So she has been in our home for a long time. She has recently started to fall behind (like getting overall F grades) in school. We tested her for an IEP, which she did not met the criteria. We have got her after school help and work about 2-3 hrs on homework. Because of the amount that is sent home. (I hate 3rd grade.) So we have noticed that she is messing up extremely easy questions but the way she goes about it makes us think she is doing it for attention. Now I have two other children that also would love for a bit of attention, but I am always helping her so they don’t get as much as they would like.

Well this weekend we played a game juste and her, she read to me as we snuggled on the couch and just had mom and daughter time. Well I then did the same with my boy and she was mad. First she said “um what are you doing?” I told her. Then she said “I am going to wait right here until you come back with me.” I explained that she already had my time and now I am giving it to my son. She stormed off and threw a fit (she just give everyone the silent treatment).

I don’t know what to do anymore. I have given this child everything I have love, support, and so much more. What else can I do? I feel lost and hurt. I am running out of strength to continue.


This is the age when many adoption issues arise. Does she know her story? Does she have any questions?

Posted by Regina on Mar 13, 2018 at 5:40pm

You should talk to your daughter’s teacher. Tell her the situation and let her know you are spending 2-3 hours on homework. Usually, the guideline for homework is 10 minutes per grade, so 3rd grade would be 30 minutes. You can tell the teacher that you will have your child spend 30 minutes on her homework but after that you think it is best to have quality family time. I think the teacher and the principal should be ok with this.

Maybe when you are spending one on one time with another child, you can have her set up with something to do. Like she could be doing homework at that time, or a craft, something to keep her busy.

good luck! you can get through this smile

Posted by Angela17 on Mar 27, 2018 at 3:31pm

Is she tested for ADD. The easy mistakes and jealousy could be this. Other than that. This may be her personality or something she is going through. Maybe you all , togeather can make a schedule on cuddle times so she is prepared in advance, it may not stop the attention seeking behaviour, but it may lesson it. Also talking about empathy and how one feels when they don’t feel loved will help her see how her siblings would feel. Also read one two three magic. Doesn’t matter if she has a diagnoses or not, if the behaviour is there find the solution to the behaviour regardless what diagnoses the solution was meant for. For example, I know a lot of kids who are not ADD but thier behavioursvare similar. I used solutions from ADD books. They worked.

Posted by freckle face mama on Apr 25, 2018 at 2:47am

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