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Kinship Adoption

Life after adoption

So we finalized our adoption in May. It was one of the coolest and best days of my life. However the aftershock has been harder than expected. I have two biological children. People only talk about the challenges adoption bring for those being adopted. So I thought it would be neat to talk about the aftermath for the children previously in the home.

We have had our AD for 2 years and again just recently adopted her. On top of that, my 7 year old just got diagnosed with Celiac Disease. So a lot of changes. My oldest daughter has had to learn to share a room, have a sister who is digging in her stuff all the time and always wants to follow her around. My son has gained another older bossy sister, had to move rooms and had to deal with out of sickness until a diagnosis was found (which has nothing to do with adoption but still very exhausting). My husband family has completely stopped talking to us even thought my AD’s BF is in prison for his 41+ convictions. And BM family, who are all druggies keep trying to call and write us, even though we have told them to stop.  I have really had to struggle to keep everyone happy and healthy. We have tears daily and this momma wants to scream twice a week. My husband works so much so there are times when I feel alone and scared.

Okay so…. With all the above said. I want to say I would do the same thing over again. It just the beginning of all this and I know it will get better. Its just getting there that is the struggle. 

So let me know your struggle with after adoption. Just knowing there are more people out there may just help me not feel alone.


Most of oir transitions happened about a year ago. Oh by the way we just adopted the beginning of August. A year ago I had to move my daughter out and to her granparents house because she just turned 18 and because I only have a 2 bedroom house. So we moved her out and fixed the room for AS and BS. I know that does not seem like a big task but my daughter has type 1 diabetes. She spends more time in the hospital than out so it was a huge transition for me. My BS dealt really well. He enjoys being the big brother. He has his moments of aggravation but honestly that to me is just normal sibling things. So whether I had him myself or adopted we would still have that issue. The BM has caused so much trouble that we can not have anything to do with my husbands side of the family, which also started over a year ago.
I can say that I had told myself that it didnt matter that as long as we get to adopt and know he is safe and happy. Well after the adoption the finalization of it all hit hard. It was as if we knew at that moment there whould probably be no reconciliation.  They will never except is as his mom and dad. They will never accept that we played no role in the BM loosing parental rights. It is so much easier to point at us since my husband wasn’t raised with them. 
On the plus side we are finally done with state and I can now make dental, eye and Dr. Appointments for myself. Everytime I made an appointment I had to cancel for visitation or home visits.
I don’t knoe much about celiac but I know they test my daughter every year for it because it is very common for type 1s to develope it. Keep your head up because it will get easier.

Posted by Beckygirl318 on Sep 05, 2016 at 4:30am


Posted by KinshipAdoption on Sep 06, 2016 at 12:07am

‘A year ago I had to move my daughter out and to her granparents house because she just turned 18 and because I only have a 2 bedroom house. So we moved her out and fixed the room for AS and BS.”
Holy cow! you sent your 18-year-daughter, who also has special medical needs out of your home because you wanted bedrooms for your biological son and the child you have adopted.

Posted by Maryam on Sep 06, 2016 at 1:23am

No state said she couldnt live with us. She had been telling us she was moving out when she turned 18. I would never kick my child out.  More of an emotional thing for me. She was going to do it anyways I just didnt put up a fight like I had been. She was 18 so I couldnt really stop her but still a very big transition for me.

Posted by Beckygirl318 on Sep 06, 2016 at 2:54am

This was for judging more just a discussion of how this changes everyone involved. Let’s play nice.

Posted by KinshipAdoption on Sep 06, 2016 at 3:51am

I’m wondering how life has been since its been a couple of years! Hopefully life has adjusted for all families here! Trying to get a feel on what to expect, and genuinely concerned and curious about your lives! All of this is so stressful…

Posted by Pingelmama on Mar 11, 2018 at 2:49am

Pingelmama…  Some days are great. Our biggest problem right now is I think she doesn’t think we love her as much as we love out Bios even thought we have never treated them differently. So she acts out and does stuff for attention. However, some days are amazing!

Posted by KinshipAdoption on Mar 13, 2018 at 1:51pm

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