My suggestion is do not tell many people until you have that baby home!  I had a failed adoption and told just a few people for 4 months. But 2 weeks before the baby was delivered I started telling more people. Worst mistake ever. The mom decided to keep the baby after I spent 4 days in the hospital with them. People would ask me about the baby and I would have to relive the horrible story over and over again.

I’m a third grade teacher who left in early March to get my little guy in Oklahoma.  (Going back to work in two weeks…sob sob)  My principal sent a letter on my behalf about three weeks before I left—and then I followed up with a more personal note a few days later.  I simply said that this was a highly anticipated personal event and that I would be sure to prep the substitute very well.  (The school held a welcome coffee for my sub a few days after she started.)  I also made sure to mention that although change is hard, kids are resilient and I promised that I would keep in touch (emails, photos, Skype, etc.)  I offered to meet with families for about 15 minutes each in the days before my departure—to ease their concerns, discuss how my time away would go, etc.  All but two families took me up on that “mini conference.”  Leaving a classroom of little ones ISN’T easy—I’d be happy to chat more if you’d like to message me!  Congrats!!!!

I definitely would use caution in what you tell people—we too had a disruption and had our baby girl with us for 4 days…. it was horrible. We only told a handful of friends and our families—and they were supportive and there for us - and that was exactly what we needed. Having a bunch of people learn of this journey - that is full of risks and leaps of faith - I personally feel isn’t the best thing… at least it wasn’t for us. Best of luck to you! Maybe you could just say that you have to leave for personal reasons? And then when all goes well you can send a letter “meet our new baby girl”...? Just a thought….

Best of luck to you!
D

I believe sending out a letter is a great way to announce your plans to adopt.  That way everyone is on the same page.  You can educate them about the adoption process, the correct terminology, what to expect, resources and anything else you want to share.

Adoptive Families magazine has a wonderful article on this topic, We’re Adopting, which gives you lots of ideas about what to include.

AF magazine also has a wonderful section about adoption and school
to help explain adoption to school-aged children.  There are even pdf handouts which help the parent answer their child’s follow-up questions once home. 

Perhaps you could even do a small unit in class about adoption.  There are guidelines on how to do it at the link above.  I did that at my child’s school by using those guidelines and it went wonderfully.

Personally, I would not put anything specific in the letter about your specific potential adoption.  I would keep it in general terms and only use the words, “potential” and “hoping to adopt.” 

Hopefully though it will all work out and when you return in the Fall you can show your class the pictures of your newest addition!!

Good luck!
Danielle
AFC Community Moderator

We were matched for 2 months and we told everybody.  The worst thing was to tell our uncle that the BM decided to keep the baby because he sent to us a nice blanket to keep the baby warm from the hospital to home.  Very sad…

I am a 3rd grade teacher and we adopted 2 years ago.  The staff at my school knew of our plans but I purposely kept this information from my students.  I felt that since I had no timeline that it would be too distracting.  I also made the decision that once we were matched that I would not tell the students until the TPR was signed, just in case.  I did not want to get my students excited and then have to come back to school and break the bad news to them while my heart was breaking as well.

Long story short, I never had to follow through on this plan since we were matched in an emergency situation.  I got the call at 12:00 and was on a plane with my husband by 4:30 that afternoon.  I know the students were surprised when a different teacher picked them up from lunch and they were told only that I had an emergency.  The principal came into my class the next day and explained everything to my kids after I gave him the go ahead.  He wrote a lovely letter to the parents explaining the situation and this letter is in our son’s baby book. 

In my situation I did not feel comfortable sharing any information with my students until I knew it was real and was not going to change.  I felt that the damage that would be done by having to explain how something that was going to happen was now not going to happen was worse than me making a sudden departure.