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Interracial Options


My husband and I are considering adoption and one of the questions we have been asking ourselves is, “Do we want to adopt inter-racially?” We are both very open to the idea of adopting a child outside of our white ethnicity, but what I would like to know is how have other adoptive parents handled including their adoptive child’s culture? We are considering domestic adoption so no international cultures.

Have you experienced any hardships with having a child outside your ethnicity? How have you overcome those hardships? What has worked really well?  Do you feel that having a child outside your ethnicity alienates them from you and if so what have you done to overcome that?

Any information is greatly appreciated!

Replies

there is a lot of research on this topic. One issue that seems to come up is how diverse is your world? Your neighborhood? School? health providers? friends? church? Are you willing to move to a more diverse area?

you might look at tapestry books and find some books to read.

your child will experience racism because that is the world we live in. Can you help them? Is your family on board?

Posted by Regina on Nov 13, 2017 at 2:56pm

Thanks so much Regina! I will look into some books.

Posted by Hatchjl2 on Nov 13, 2017 at 3:27pm

We’re a family thanks to private, open, transracial adoption. Our oldest is about to turn 12, and our youngest is 6.

I think the first two questions are:
- Do you have friends of color?
- Do you live in an area that is ethnically and racially diverse?

If you answered “no” to either of those questions, you may not be a good candidate for transracial adoption.

Beyond that:
Are you up for the challenges of examining your own white privilege?
Can you handle telling your kids that their ancestors were probably slaves?
How do you feel when you realize that your child of color is more likely to be shot by police than to be helped by police?
What are you going to say when your black child’s white friend tells him, “You’re going to grow up to be a criminal”?
What will your response be when your black daughter comes home and tells you she wants peach skin and long, straight, blonde hair?
Can you provide real, meaningful friendships with other children and families of color?

If you think any of those questions is out of line, you may not be a good candidate for transracial adoption.

I have a blog and you can check out the “transracial adoption” tagged posts if you’d like:
http://chittisterchildren.wordpress.com

I recommend reading Kevin Hoffmann’s blog, My Mind on Paper, or the writings of John Raible, both black transracial adoptees, with very different outlooks. Pact, a facilitator in Oakland, CA has some good information on their web site.

I hope this helps!

(BTW, some people get very annoyed by use of the term “interracial adoption.” It’s transracial adoption.)

Posted by rredhead on Nov 15, 2017 at 2:17am

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