National Adoption Directory


Find an Adoption Agency

Find an Adoption Attorney

Full Directory ►

Join Adoption Groups!

Click the arrows to expand each group category below

Family Building Options

Starting Out in Adoption

Waiting to Adopt

U.S. Newborn Adoption

U.S. Foster Adoption

International Adoption

My Family

My Adoption Interests

My Child's Age/Stage

My Location

The Adoption Triad

Adoptive Families Magazine

U.S. Adoptive Families

Info on "stork drop"


Hi everyone, we are signing up with several agencies and have been asked if we want to be on the “stork drop” contact list.(where a BM basically shows up at the hospital in labor and hasn’t been working with any agencies & picks your profile) Our consultant told us it is very quick and whoever says yes first is who adopts the baby. My husband and I have been thru alot since we began our adoption path(who hasn’t, right) and I’m afraid of being called in the middle of the night and someone saying “YES or NO” you have 2 seconds to answer! The issue is I know I’ll have questions, who is the BM? Any drug use? Who is the BF? Any mental illness? I could go on & on. I don’t want to be closed minded, but fear and lack of any sense of control are swirling in my mind. What are your experiences if any in this situation?
Thanks for reading

Replies

Well . . . both my babies were “VERY QUICK”.  The best part is the baby is already here so you already know how things are going (apgar score etc.)  You will be surprised how fast you can get info.  The adoption agency should have gotten basic info from the birthmom and really . . . in any situation you are going on faith . . . even long matches could involve a birth family not quite telling the truth.  I personally liked the quick matches like that because they were certain in their choice and it made for a much less chance of changing their minds grin  Just my 2 cents . . . but after going through two adoptions . . . I would totally go that route . . . grin 

We were notified of our son and took him home in 16 hours straight from the hospital . . . and our daughter . . . we we had 3 hours notice until she came home grin again . . . straight from the hospital.

Good luck!!

Posted by mamamia on Jan 06, 2012 at 12:11am

Do they say you can’t ask questions?  Surely, when they call, they’ll be prepared with at least some basic information.  After 4 years of waiting, I would LOVE to be put on such a list!  What’s the worst that could happen?  You lose some sleep one night (I’ve lost plenty of my own doing before) and you end up saying, “no.”  Best case scenario is that your wait could be over!  And if you get too many calls and saying “no” becomes emotionally draining, you can always ask to be removed from the list. I say, “go for it!”  Sorry to say I don’t have any personal experience, though…just my thoughts.

Posted by Lara on Jan 06, 2012 at 12:12am

I would say YES!  Even though our agency did not have a “stork list” per se, we received our precious gift overnight!  BM went to hospital, had baby, signed consent and left hospital - she had the agency choose the family, and they chose to call us first!  We were called about the situation with background info from the agency, and we met our daughter in the nursery after the mother had left.  While there are questions that you may have that cannot be answered because the mother is gone, you miss all of the drama and waiting game.  Also, it is A LOT less expensive (not that money is the MOST important thing, but it is a concern should the mother change her mind).  We are truly blessed with our precious little angel.  And… we did get to meet the BM after all, a little after the baby was born.  What a sweet meeting.  So, I would tell you to proceed with going on the list.  But, just be forewarned that should you get that call, your life changes literally OVERNIGHT, so be ready!  GOOD LUCK!!!!!!  smile

Posted by Gabby'sMom on Jan 06, 2012 at 12:21am

I would say go for it! The adoption of our daughter happened very fast. Our agency called it a ‘leap of faith’ when it was a phone call saying ’ there’s a baby..you’re profile was picked!’
We actually had a call a few months before our daughter was born and did not feel it wad right for us. We asked all the questions that were important to us and the answers did not encourage us to take the leap.
A few months later we got the call for our daughter and we both knew it was The Call. We took the leap and our lives were changed in such an amazing way. Always ask the questions that are important to you when that call comes.
I

Posted by JulieS114 on Jan 06, 2012 at 12:42am

I would say it sounds great, less drama and if the baby is born they should kow about basic health. You can always say no, but a least you had a chance to say yes. Good luck.

Posted by Private And Foster Mom on Jan 06, 2012 at 1:28am

Go for it. Being on the list doesn’t mean you have to say yes. And you can definitely ask questions - I did. If something doesn’t feel right in your gut, you are well within your rights to say no. With my agency, I could also say no at the hospital if it was not within our comfort zone. It is a crazy time when the stork drops, but it is also so much fun.

Can’t wait to hear what the stork brings you!

Ellen

Posted by yesimln on Jan 06, 2012 at 1:32am

I agree with the others.  You have nothing to lose…so much less drama!

Posted by pednurse91 on Jan 06, 2012 at 3:58am

I say go for it! One of mine was fairly quick and one was longer, but you can never know if people are telling the truth (on either end). You just have to trust your gut and go with it. smile

I always said, I couldn’t guarantee that a baby born to me wouldn’t have mental health problems or health problems. It’s just the leap you take when you decide to have a baby - however you “have” it.

In the cases of the “stork drop” they are rarely open adoptions, so you have to consider that as well. We really wanted an open adoption so we weren’t eligible for a lot of the “stork drops” that came through.

Good luck!

Posted by abauman on Jan 06, 2012 at 5:04am

I’ve wondered about the same thing. I’m definitely open to accepting “stork drop” situations, but at the same time I’d be a little sad about missing the chance to get to know the birthmom beforehand and experience the birth with her, possibly. But then again, that might not happen in the way I’m thinking anyway! I can’t imagine the emotions that would pop up with a sudden call like that, wow…I’m so curious how ours will work out! We’re about 6 months away from going “on the books.”

Posted by artiste on Jan 07, 2012 at 3:41am

Thanks for all ur input and encouragement! Stork drop decision is a go!!

Posted by sassafras on Jan 07, 2012 at 6:21am

I, personally, am really squicked out by the idea of building a relationship with an expectant mother.  I just feel like there’s no way that I could avoid putting pressure or my expectations on her without being uncharacteristically cold.  I know that’s not in line with the current state of adoption practice in domestic adoption, but it’s where I am.  Therefore, a “hospital referral” as my agency calls it, was actually my preference.  My wife said she could go either way, and our agency doesn’t maintain separate hospital/prenatal referral lists.

In our case, we got the hospital referral and took our daughter home 5 days later (she was in interim foster care while the birth father search was in progress).  In between “the call” and homecoming, we were able to meet our daughter’s first mother and arrange a semi-open adoption plan, with a view toward more openness later on down the line.

Even when there is a rush, the social workers still go through the same legal paperwork with the mother that they would if she were signing up with the agency before the delivery.  At least, they do in Texas, as the paperwork is required by state law.  So we had answers to the questions we were concerned about, such as mental health/drug/alcohol history, and we had the APGAR scores, too.  We were totally comfortable with our choice, but if we hadn’t been comfortable with the situation, we could have said “no”.

Posted by Thalas'shaya on Jan 07, 2012 at 6:27am

We were put on the “short list” by our agency following two failed/disrupted adoptions.  Our son was born on Friday and his birth mother contacted our agency on Saturday.  She selected us on Sunday and signed termination papers Monday night.  Our agency called us Monday afternoon to say that a baby boy was waiting for us in a neighboring state so get on the road ASAP so that we could take custody on Tuesday morning.  It was amazing.  We met his birth mother Tuesday morning and then went to the hospital to get our son.  You never know how your child is going to find you, so I would say don’t rule anything out!  Good luck finding your child!

Posted by Aunt Lolly on Jan 07, 2012 at 7:03am

We were watching TV in our living room 3 years ago when the phone rang. It was a social worker. About 6 months prior, we had gone through the process of becoming licensed to fost-adopt in California. The social worker asked if we could drive to the hospital that very evening to bring home an “emergency placement.” She had very little information about the birth mother, zero information about the birth father, and only some basic medical information about the baby, who had been born with a lung infection, but was being treated and was responding well, and seemed otherwise healthy. My husband and I were both on the phone listening, excited and floored by the urgency of the situation. “Can we have some time to think it over?” We asked. “You can have ten minutes,” the social worker responded, “then I’ll have to call someone else.” TEN MINUTES???? Half an hour later, we were in our car driving to the hospital. One year later, we were able to adopt our wonderful son. Today, he’s our adorable, healthy, happy, active, bright, spectacularly amazing kid. (I might be a tad biased.) Just wanted to share our experience with you. Best wishes!!

Posted by LallyFam on Jan 07, 2012 at 7:46am

After two failed placements we were on our agencies short list I guess you could call it and we were matched 2 days prior to our daughter being born. I have never heard of a stork drop list with the hospital. Do all hospitals have this? I would say go for it, you can always say no when they call.

Good Luck
Kim
http://www.familyhopingtoadopt.com

Posted by bkadoption on Jan 07, 2012 at 11:54pm

This is exactly what happened to my family, and I wouldn’t have changed a thing!  We got a phone call after being on a waiting list for 18 months that a birth mother was in labor and had chosen our profile.  12 hours later we drove to meet our sweet baby girl.  She is absolutely perfect, it was such a rush getting everything around so quickly, but it was amazing!  I didn’t have to stress for very long about whether she would change her mind.  12 hours after that phone call, I held my sweet baby girl in my arms forever!  Addison is 7 1/2 months old now and her story brings everyone to tears, there was such a special excitement and joy that came from the “stork drop” experience.

Posted by Rachal on Jan 10, 2012 at 5:01am

My husband asked to be put on the list at the hospital he works for after we had a failed adoption. Our daughter was born on Father’s day. We got the call on Monday at 1pm and were holding her by 4pm. We stayed in the hospital with her that night. The hospital provided us a room free of charge and we took her home the next day.
We later had a successful Russian adoption, and a successful open adoption. We met the BM 4 months before our son was born.
I wouldn’t change anything about any of our experiences. All 3 of my children have such special, individual stories of how they came to us.
Our “stork drop” was definitly the least stressful and least expensive.

Posted by momof3eaj on Jan 11, 2012 at 1:03am

We’ve adopted 3 times.  Our son (second adoption) had a very rare and fatal genetic disease. We lost him before he turned 3 months old.  My takeaways?  First you never know what the future holds and second he was 100% meant to be with us. No one can predict the future so just go with your heart when presented with a baby.  I know the three children who joined our family were meant to be ours.  I’m sure you’ll feel the same way whether you have an hour or a month to research and prepare.

Posted by meaxling on Jan 13, 2012 at 11:25pm

Our agency calls them BOGs (Baby On the Ground).  We were called on a Sunday at 9am. that there had been a baby girl born in Oklahoma City, OK the night before, and if we wanted her we’d have to leave NOW!  We live in Kansas City, MO.  We had some information about the baby’s health, etc., and less than 30 minutes later, we said yes and were on our way down the highway.  By 7pm that night, we saw our little girl, and two days later we took full custody.

My daughter is a wonderful child, and I could not have biologically produced a more perfect child for me.  Just get as much information as possible at the time of the phone call.  If you know any medical professionals or have them in your family, have their mobile numbers handy so you can call them to help you make a decision about any medical conditions that may exist.  And as another adoptive mom here said, it is all a “leap of faith”.  One of my friends who is an adoptive mom that I called that morning, said those exact words to me.  She was right.

Posted by rubytiara on Jan 14, 2012 at 2:34am

Nothing is guaranteed with birth children. We adopted a healthy child & twins with special needs. I am not sorry I adopted any of them! They all need us & we need all 3 of them!

Posted by Hblankenbaker on Jan 14, 2012 at 3:12am

Nothing is guaranteed with birth children. We adopted a healthy child & twins with special needs. I am not sorry I adopted any of them! They all need us & we need all 3 of them!

Posted by Hblankenbaker on Jan 14, 2012 at 3:13am

We also had what our agency called a “fall from the sky” baby.  Birthmother knew she wanted to put the baby up for adoption, but for whatever reason never contacted an agency.  She delivered the baby in her car, at a park and ride.  By herself.  They took Mom and baby to the hospital, she chose to call our agency from a list, and declined choosing adoptive parents.  Our agency called us to tell us they had a baby for us when she was 5 hours old.  This was our first baby - and she ws very much meant to be ours.  As crazy and nuts as it was, I would not have changed anything.  I agree with other posters - go with your heart.  The right thing will happen. 

Our second adoption we had 3 weeks notice.  I don’t think we had better (or worse) inforamtion from one or the other - just different.

Posted by cfear60144 on Jan 14, 2012 at 4:54am

My second adoption was a similar situation.  I had been given the wise advice from my sister, who had adopted years earlier, that you can and should always say “I need some time to think about this.”  Take 15 minutes.  The biggest decision in your life deserves some deliberation.  Do this even if you already know it’s the right situation (and you will know, your gut will tell you).  Hang up, take a deep breath, call a friend, your mom, your husband, your sister…or make a list…whoever or whatever helps you clarify your thoughts.  Best of luck.

Posted by Anne 427 on Jan 14, 2012 at 5:18am

In our experience, the wait was so fraught with anxiety, it was exciting (also stressful!) to get the emergency situation calls…at least it meant something was happening, and we could become parents at any time! We agreed to almost all of the situations but were not chosen from any of them—we ended up being picked ahead of time a few months before our child was born.  The best way to prepare for the emergency calls is to discuss possible situations (drug, alcohol use, depression, birthparent situation, prenatal abnormalities, abnormalities with siblings, etc.) and what would be acceptable, so you have a way to make decisions on the fly.  We were great believers that God would make the right situation work out for us, and that helped us get through the stress.

Posted by joyfulmommy on Jan 14, 2012 at 11:04pm

After 5 failed matches and 2 successful stork drops, I say… STORK DROPS RULE.  Just have a clear sense of what your “deal-breaker” criteria are (known BM drug use? medical history details?  See PP’s suggestions).  Hopefully you would communicate these to your agency and they wouldn’t present you with a situation that wasn’t compatible…  and also you might find that your criteria are a little less rigid than they might have felt before there was an actual baby to consider.  I will say that we did decline one stork drop match and it was hard to do but we knew ourselves well enough to know that this child was not our baby. Our second son was born into the NICU and had some unknowns but somehow we knew he WAS our baby.  And everything is perfect and if we hadn’t been open to stork drops we might still be waiting instead of the very happy parents of two fantastic little boys.

Posted by Elizabeth70 on Jan 15, 2012 at 5:58am

Hopefully you are working with an agency that will do their due diligence to collect important information for you before they pick up the phone and call you. You will have more than 2 seconds to think about it and answer and adoption agencies SHOULD know that it will take a few minutes of talking it over (as a family) before you make a decision. You will have questions, and that is ok. Your agency should have the answers for you.

Yes, stork drops can catch you off-guard, but try to think about that birthmom and what she is going through AND not knowing who (if anyone) is coming to claim the baby.

Think about that baby and what might happen if you don’t respond. We felt so good with our hospitals response to us showing up to claim our daughter. They were so afraid she would end up “in the system”.

We didn’t really care how we became parents, we just wanted to be Mommy and Daddy. We have a wonderful daughter and a pretty awesome relationship developing with our birthmom and her family.

PS- We all think it is going to happen at 2 am, but if it helps you at all, ours was at 12 noon on a Friday. smile

Posted by k_rae213 on Jan 15, 2012 at 12:27pm

I understand your concern.  After the experience we had in our adoption journey, I want to choose the stork drop option as our means to find our next child.  this is how it happened…

My husband and I had been waiting for a child for four and a half years.  There were so many ups and downs.  The first year we were in the adoption process, we got very close to a birth mother here in our hometown.  When she decided to parent a couple of weeks before the child was born, we were DEVASTATED.  That was our first experience with a birth mother.

Forward to this past December.  We had a birth mom presented to us.  We met her and liked her and the situation.  The birth father fought it, so we lost that baby.  This past February we were told of a birth mother in Boston that said she was 95% sure she wanted to place the child with us.  When she went into labor the last week of March, we packed the car and headed to Boston.  When we got halfway there, the caseworker called us and told us the mother had changed her mind.  We were again devastated.  We were so sick of the expectation, then being let down.  We were so tired of the drama and the roller coaster.

FOUR DAYS LATER, we received a call from our adoption lawyer saying a baby had been born in our state, just two hours away.  The best part: the birth mom liked us and had already relinquished her parental rights.  The story sounded scary when we saw her profile; she had used alcohol while pregnant, but we had several hours to make up our minds, get info, do research, talk to our doctors.  But when we went to the hospital to meet him, the doctors agreed that he was PERFECT.  That weekend we brought home the most perfect, beautiful baby boy.

After more than four years of ups and downs and drama, I would choose the last minute option EVERY TIME.  When you know ahead of time, there is great potential for the mom changing her mind.  How will you handle that?  Would you rather have time to prepare mentally for a baby and risk losing it, or would you rather not know when you will get the baby (which you really won’t either way) but be more sure the child will actually be placed with you.  You need to weigh which is better for you.  The sure thing was better for us!!

Posted by la gringita soleada on May 10, 2012 at 8:47am

The above advice is really helpful and is the only information we can currently find on stork drop adoption, so thanks to all commenters.

Does anyone have any advice on how to find an agency who offers this type of adoption? Do most agencies?

Posted by longruth on Jul 16, 2012 at 6:16am

Wow….. I guess I would be considered a stork drop…. very much not a term I like or agree with or bogs…

Posted by EST on Sep 20, 2012 at 8:12am

BOG. Baby on ground? Serious???

My OBC, which I am still not permitted to see, has ‘Baby Boy’ as my first name. The SW told my mother (falsely) that she wasn’t allowed to name me. This BOG term is really bothering me, as opposed to the itchy kinda greasy feeling I got when my a’s told people ‘the stork brought me’.

Posted by ScottK on Sep 20, 2012 at 12:50pm

Our agency calls them “hospital referrals” and as far as I’m aware (speaking to longruth, here) don’t offer it as an exclusive option.  Their typical process is to match Prospective Adoptive Parents (PAPs) to Expectant Mothers (EMs) whenever the EM is ready and wants to do so.  Some other agencies make the match as early as possible, while still others wait until the final trimester and sometimes longer at the discretion of the EM’s social worker.  At least in Texas, this is one of those things that is up to the agency and each one handles it differently.

Posted by Thalas'shaya on Sep 20, 2012 at 9:22pm

So I know I’m joining this a little late, but I wanted to say “stork drop” doesn’t necessarily mean a birthmom is in labor and you need to make a decision ASAP. Our son was considered a “stork drop” situation- he was 4 months old and his birthmom contacted the agency and informed them of her decision to place. They called us, told us all the information they had, and said they want to fly her to Utah soon and to let them know once we’ve discussed it because he was a perfect fit for what we were looking for. So, they are not always birthmoms in labor or babies that were just born! smile

Posted by faulkadopt on Nov 29, 2012 at 5:20am

Reply to this thread

You must be logged in to reply. To login, click here. Not a member? Join AdoptiveFamiliesCircle today. It's free and easy!







NATIONAL ADOPTION DIRECTORY


Find an Adoption Agency

Find an Adoption Attorney or Agency



Search the full directory ►