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Prenatal Substance Exposure

I am a birth mother who cannot find support

I am sorry to join a group under false pretense.  I have been searching for years for articles, books or support at all that relates to me and my child.
I am the birth mother of a child who had a traumatic and drug exposed gestation.  I went to rehab when I was seven months pregnant.  I hated myself so completely.
I have raised my daughter exclusivly but I sometimes wonder if she wouldnt have been better off adopted.  I have so much guilt.  I cant forgive myself.  When she was a nerborn I would pretend that I adopted her.  It made my love for her less intensly painful.
I am having a hard time getting her adequate therapy and services.  I have a state funded medical insurance and she doesn’t fit any of the issue’s that would get her coverage.  She is almost autistic but not truly.  She is gifted but was severely delayed.  She has anxiety yet her intern counselor doesn’t see it.  She may have an eating disorder that will not be recognized.
It’s possible she has op positional defiant disorder,  doesn’t completely fit either..
The school did assessment and she doesn’t qualify for services or accommodation.
She is slipping through the cracks and is truly in real danger.  She is going on 16 days without a bowel movement.  She will not eat,  would let herself starve.
I wonder if she has attachment issue’s from the womb? I was told she is likely traumatized from it all.  I have tried and I continue to give it everything I’ve got to be a good mom.  I suffer from depression and anxiety.  I fittingly have low self worth and struggle with self hatred.  I see EVERYDAY the pain I have caused.  It’s truly unbearable.
I don’t know what to do
What have you had to deal with as foster/ adopt parents?  Do you have children with suspected exposure?  Is it something that is obvious or hard to convince?  Was their anything that helped you to figure it out and get your child the help they need?
I appreciate your help and willingness to listen to someone in the wrong support group


I don’t know how to help you, Heather, but I am praying for you and your daughter.


Posted by Waiting4baby on May 20, 2016 at 12:15pm

Constipation can be caused by exposure and there’s no reason your medicaid won’t cover a trip to the doctor and a prescription.  Where I live medicaid covers over the counter meds as long as there is a prescription.  Miralax, Senna, are good ones.  That can be fatal so I would recommend a specialist, not just your PCP, like a GI specialist at a hospital.  You are doing the right thing by doing the best you can now.  Try this organization for moms, its alcohol not drugs but they may be able to connect you with another mom in a similar situation

Posted by starspangled on Nov 23, 2016 at 10:07pm

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