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Well, our agency did it a little different—they networked with a lot of other agencies, facilitators and attorneys. And they had a broad base of prospective adoptive parents. So any given birthmother probably had oodles of profiles shown to her. So with that background, I’ll tell you that we had our profile shown 28 times through that agency—all without a successful match. Then we switched to the facilitator we are now using, and two showings later we were picked. So it really varies, I guess.
We were shown 4 times with our facilitator.
I wish I knew…our facilitator doesn’t tell us when our profile is sent out to the moms. We only get a call if we were chosen. It drives me a little crazy because I’d like to know that it’s being seen, but they assured us that it gets sent to EVERY mom who meets our preferences. Apparently couples tend to fixate on how many times it is shown, so to eliminate that, they simply don’t tell us. I guess it makes sense!
That being said, our profile has been “active” for about 2 months, so I don’t know how many times it was sent out, but we were actually chosen through our online profile about 2 weeks ago. Will be finding out today whether the mom is changing her mind or not, though I have a feeling she will because she’s already parented the baby for a week without telling us they were born. So we’ll probably be back to waiting, unfortunately!
We were presented 30 times in 14 months by 5 entities.
We were with a consultant who also does a lot of networking. We were presented about 10 times in 8 months (we were doing a gender specific adoption so we actually said “no” to being presented for some very good situations but the gender was unknown). We were then chosen but the birth mother decided to parent. We were chosen again 3 weeks later (agency pic) and the baby was born about 4 months later. It worked out for us this time and we finalized at 7 months old and our daughter is now a year old.
We got a monthly total of showings. It was about 25 a month - we were matched at beginning of month 4.
I don’t know how many times I was profiled, they only let me know when I was in the running, between me and someone else. I eventually asked them to stop letting me know when I’m in the running and just let me know when I’ve been chosen-so much less stressful!
Most of our adoption leads came from friends and family. We created a letter on a blog with pictures. Several people contacted us in the beginning and nothing panned out. We adopted one we fostered and with those connections we adopted 2 more (all infants). The more agencies you use (many do not charge up front, only when they match you) and the more options you choose, like the state, private, designated, etc… the faster it will be. Best of luck.
We were signed on with a dozen - yes, a dozen! - agencies and referral services. Of what I know, we were shown 9 times in the six months before we were matched by an agency. The bmom wanted the agency to choose a family (her only request was that it be diverse), and they chose us. We matched in mid-Oct, and our baby boy was born March 16th. We will finalize on July 10th!
We worked with one agency. We were blessed that the 2nd time our profile was shown we were chosen. We were open to a biracial child of either sex which probably increased our chances.
I was blessed to be chosen the 1st time my profile was shown.
We worked with two agencies- one did not disclose when we were shown to expectant mothers…the other did and let us know feed back of why we were not chosen- honestly, I preferred not knowing…it was painful to hear that reasons were often things beyond our control….in the end we signed with a third agency for an urgent placement…I think that marked the 7th time we were shown…but again, it could have been more since we weren’t told by the one agency…in the end we adopted within 4 months of our home study…best wishes…
Our agency generally doesn’t tell us when we are being shown unless it’s a situation that is outside our adoptive profile questionnaire (I think it increases stress knowing). I did ask once at our two month mark how much exposure we were getting and our adoption specialist told us 10-15 times a month. They are different factors that can affect how many times a profile is shown such as being open to a boy or girl, race, medical history, drug exposure, etc. We have been blessed with a relatively short wait and we were chosen at the 4 month mark. I wish you the best!
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• Making the decision to grow your family through adoption
• Keeping your spirits up during the wait
• Letting go of preconceived notions about bonding
• “What if…” – a mother responds to a pre-adoptive parent’s most secret worry
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