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Private Adoption

How does Private Adoption work?

Hi I am totally new to the whole adoption process! I am currently considering agency adoption. However when i read some of these blogs on private successful adoptions, I wanted to ask some of you how you were able to do this? Does the lawyer in your state help you find a BM? Or do you have to market yourself in different newspapers? Any help woud be great. I live in Pa.


Hello we are just getting started in adoption also so I understand you have a bazillion questions! I just bought and am currently reading a really great adoption book that I recommend, Ultimate Insiders Guide to Adoption, by Elizabeth Swire Falker.  She’s a lawyer and adoptive parent who speaks Plainly!!  Good luck!!

Posted by Jen77M on Feb 05, 2013 at 10:26pm

Wow thanks! I love to read so will look into buying this book)

Posted by Aneev on Feb 06, 2013 at 1:02am

We just completed a private adoption, but our daughters birthmom fell into our laps ( friend of a friend). There are some adoption lawyers who will help you find a perspective birth mom, but you would need to inquire about that. Once we were matched up with her birthmom, he was able to do all the paper work, set up the terms of the open adoption, procure a lawyer for the birthmom and file the paperwork for temporary custody.

The cost was nearly half of agency adoption.

Posted by PaulaJo on Feb 06, 2013 at 3:12am

Private adoption refers to any domestic adoption that is not from foster care. Independent adoption is adopting without the aid of an agency. So, all attorney adoptions are private, independent adoptions. I used to get the terms confused too.
The book Adopting In America was very helpful to me the first time we adopted. It may be a bit dated now, but it might be worth looking at nonetheless.

Posted by rredhead on Feb 06, 2013 at 3:57am

We adopted through an adoption attorney in Florida.  The attorney found the birthmother, confirmed pregnancy, etc, but would have done the adoption when we found a potential match on our own (which did not work out).  You have to check the laws in your state, every state is different; someone posted on this site that attorneys in NY are not allowed to advertise for expectant parents.  If you are going through an attorney, make sure they are member of American Academy of Adoption Attorneys and/or board certified in adoption.  Private adoption is completely different from step-parent or kinship adoption, and most family attorneys do not know the ins and outs of private adoption.

Posted by jszmom on Feb 06, 2013 at 11:55am

Thank you all! Very helpful! And yes i was getting those terms confused!

Posted by Aneev on Feb 07, 2013 at 2:27am

Jszmom- who did you use?  I live in Florida and we are considering using an attorney as opposed to an agency.

Posted by FoxyGator on Apr 12, 2013 at 2:28pm

Our birthmother found us. We are currently seeking lawyers for an interstate independent adoption, but we are getting conflicting information. One set says we have to send the paperwork from Louisiana to Georgia. The other set says we can go directly to a judge.

I am confused! Anyone have any thoughts?

Posted by olag on Apr 26, 2013 at 8:37pm

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