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How Many


As a single parent, how many children did you adopt (including bio kids)?

Replies

One

Posted by RGAdopt on Oct 30, 2017 at 9:50pm

two, so far. might adopt again, my youngest has only been with me 6 months so its a bit too soon for me to decide if I will do it again.

Posted by rn4kidz on Oct 31, 2017 at 2:31am

Do you know any singles who’ve adopted 3 or 4 kids? I’ve had one for so long. It’s exciting to think of adding one more.

Posted by CoraDee on Oct 31, 2017 at 3:18am

I would love to have 3 or 4, but right now it would overwhelm me. both my kids have serious medical needs, and we have medical appointments or therapies every single day, sometimes multiple appointments on the same day. I also homeschool, and while my youngest isn’t in school yet the oldest is having a difficult time with the transition from second to third grade, the work is just so much harder. I work from home, which helps, but I don’t think I could handle another child right now, there just isn’t enough time! but I am hopeful that they will both outgrow the need for some of their therapies, and that next year will be an easier year for my daughter with school. then maybe I can think about adding another one (or two!).

Posted by rn4kidz on Oct 31, 2017 at 3:25am

you say you’ve had one for so long, how long has he/she been with you? my oldest was an only child for a little over 4 years and it was a very difficult adjustment for her to have another child in the home. I am glad I adopted again, but wish I could have done it sooner.

Posted by rn4kidz on Oct 31, 2017 at 3:30am

My baby will be 8 soon. I tried for a shorter gap but God’s will….you know…,🙂

Posted by CoraDee on Oct 31, 2017 at 1:52pm

Yes, my daughter was 8 when her sister came home. I tried to adopt again much sooner, but it just didn’t work our that way.  So I understand!

Posted by rn4kidz on Oct 31, 2017 at 2:50pm

I have three children. My oldest was adopted nearly 2 years ago. He will be 18 next week! I have two younger children who were placed with me at ages 3.5 years and three days old. The younger two are biological siblings, not biologically related to my oldest. The little ones are now 6 and 3 and their adoption has not yet been finalized, but hopefully will be soon. Having such varying ages makes things both easier and harder, but there is never a dull moment!

Posted by AshleyLM on Oct 31, 2017 at 4:20pm

I adopted my wonderful daughter from China when I was almost 51 and she was 18 months old.  I would have loved to adopt another child or two, especially given that Becca was a rather easy child to parent, but my age made it unlikely that I would have been approved.  In addition, while I had a family lined up to become Becca’s guardians if I died or became incapacitated—something that every single parent should consider—I don’t know if they would have been as eager to take on more than one child, as they already had twin sons.

Posted by sak9645 on Oct 31, 2017 at 5:44pm

I am not a single parent, but three has been a huge challenge for us.  One thing to consider, after school and extracurricular activities take up a lot of time, and juggling more than two kids’ extra stuff is tough.  The way our schedule works, at least one of the three has something every afternoon, Mon-Fri.  My husband works from home, otherwise I am not sure how we would manage (I work many evenings, weekends and holidays),  but it means the other two spend a lot of time waiting on the sibling. 

My friend adopted one as a single mom, she has a great nanny, but in the end she decided that she could not adopt again.

Doesn’t mean it can’t be done, just so much more to consider when you already have a child.

Posted by jszmom on Nov 01, 2017 at 2:46pm

It depends on the person and the child.Some children are high maintenance lots of medical and therapy issues others are not. Some families are into sports 5 days a week some are not. I have known single moms handle 6 and some 1.

Some adopt sibling groups so get several at once.
It has to do with the parent, the chid(ren) and the lifestyle. No one answer that is for sure.

Posted by Regina on Nov 01, 2017 at 3:11pm

One. I initially wanted two. But my daughter has such serious attachment and significant medical issues. At times it has seemed like it might be easier to adopt another child to lessen the intensity, provide my child a sibling (she would like, though has essentially already with friends children) and have the possibility of a more loving child…but the cost, both in money and especially of the process in time would be hard to absorb, and I worry that I would short change another child, or my existing daughter, as well as be beyond overwhelmed myself if a second child had needs as extensive.

Posted by Happy Camper on Dec 21, 2017 at 4:05am

Happy Camper money wouldn’t be an issue is you adopted from foster care and usually the state will help with special needs.

Buy only you know if you are too overwhelmed. It is a decision for the parent(s) to make

Posted by Regina on Dec 21, 2017 at 4:32am

If i adopted from foster care I’d have to find a different agency, different social worker, months of classes, new home study. I dealt with so many crappy, discriminatory, fly by night, unethical, incompetent, agencies before finding excellent ones that at my age, the thought makes me shudder.

Plus adopting is only the beginning of financial needs of a child as well as the love, support, energy, care, and time that as a single, older, parent of a child with serious medical and attachment issues I unfortunately don’t have enough of already.

I also (from what I’ve experienced and seen others go thru) don’t think much of the “help” that the state provides for children with this intensity of special needs- more often then not - not particularly competent, and focused on what is financially expedient, no matter how little benefit or how much harm to the child, and family.

So thanks for the suggestions Regina, but not at this time.

Posted by Happy Camper on Dec 22, 2017 at 5:26am

It is up to each person how and who they wish to adopt. The classes are designed to educate parents re issues that might arise. Most children come with a medical card and subsidy so once legalized you can pick your own provider using the card or the subsidy money.

Some states would accept your home study only modifying it for their needs.

Adoption from foster care is an option for many people. Some of the children have serious needs some do not. You are right having a child with special needs is time consuming and expensive. A child born to you, adopted internationally, adopted at birth, or adopted from foster care might have special needs. Or might not. As far as how many children which was the question of the thread it is up to each parent(s) to decide. I have known families of 10 who function just fine despite a smattering of special needs and other families with one child which is all they can handle.

Take care

Posted by Regina on Dec 23, 2017 at 2:15pm

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