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Infertility Support

Gains from losses


Hello all,

I recently read much of the book “Sweet Grapes,” which is about turning the losses of infertility into gains. It was very helpful, but today I’m struggling with my infertility, even as I’m excited about adoption.

I thought it might be helpful to list gains of family building through adoption rather than pregnancy.

So far I have:

No stretch marks
Drinking all the Caffeine I want
Soft cheeses (Brie, feta, chèvre—yummy)

What else can we add? What are some of the long term gains?

Thanks!
Sarah

Replies

You can take Advil for headaches
Cold medicine if needed
No morning sickness
Less exhausted when baby arrives,
No surgery recovery from a c section
You can exercise any way you like for stress relief etc
You can have a Babymoon without the belly😉

Posted by CarlaF on Jul 17, 2014 at 7:24pm

The child will know you CHOSE them.

Posted by CarlaF on Jul 17, 2014 at 7:25pm

The child will know you CHOSE them.

Posted by CarlaF on Jul 17, 2014 at 7:26pm

The child will know you CHOSE them.

Posted by CarlaF on Jul 17, 2014 at 7:26pm

Per one of my best friends - “your boobs won’t turn into floppy little fried eggs.”

Posted by JNC on Jul 17, 2014 at 8:41pm

yes and no need for an episiotomy.

Posted by CarlaF on Jul 17, 2014 at 8:43pm
Posted by CarlaF on Jul 17, 2014 at 8:43pm

I love the RHouse Blog, talks a lot about this.

Posted by Private And Foster Mom on Jul 18, 2014 at 4:57am

Laser hair removal and electrolysis

Posted by Supdub on Jul 19, 2014 at 5:38pm

No 10 cm dilation

Posted by mamina on Jul 21, 2014 at 5:01am

On a more serious note, this paper has some very nice points on the gains of adoptive parenting:

http://parenthood.library.wisc.edu/Leon/Leon.html

Posted by mamina on Jul 21, 2014 at 5:03am

Mamina- that is great! Thank you!

Posted by Supdub on Jul 21, 2014 at 1:29pm

Can donate blood and platelets
Feet won’t grow
Save money bc no maternity clothes
More control over body in general

Posted by Supdub on Aug 10, 2014 at 2:56pm

My friend worked so hard to breastfeed her baby. She got maybe 3 fragmented hours of sleep a night for the first 3 months while her boobs first ballooned with a painful milk duct infection and then shrunk into little floppy eggs. Then she learned that her breast milk didn’t have enough nutrients, so she had to switch to formula. She said her life improved 4000% when she and her husband switched to bottle feeding. The baby’s health issues cleared up; she felt no loss of intimacy with the baby; she got to throw out the dreaded pump; her nipples healed and she finally got to sleep while her DH bottle fed.

Ladies - having witnessed it first-hand, I’m grateful to dodge that particular bullet.

Posted by JNC on Aug 10, 2014 at 6:42pm

Along with no stretch marks and not as saggy boobs as birth moms have, I have to add your body in general will be more sturdy. Babies take a lot out of you and take a lot of nutrients from you. Not to mention your girly parts (I heard) are never the same again after giving birth. Not sure if that is true.

Plus no morning sickness and bloating or bed rest. I am sure so enjoy not having to do anything, but after a while, bed rest has got to get boring.

Oooo and no hemorrhoids.

Posted by The McDermets on Jan 20, 2015 at 2:51am

Read this…..I am so thankful I have not had to experience any of this yet, althought i would do it all in a heartbeat to have a baby, I still cringed at every single one

http://www.pileofbabies.com/birth-10-surprises-first-days-delivery/

Posted by The McDermets on Jan 22, 2015 at 4:17am

Getting to know my kids’ personality sooner
Appreciating all their strength and resilience
Avoiding having to buy a bunch of crap that’s only useful for a few months
Career flexibility and faster promotion
No day care expenses
Foster-adopt: lots of services and support

Posted by Supdub on Jan 28, 2015 at 2:51am

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