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Four years lost at an agency and don't know what to do now...

Our faith in the process came crashing down. We now, after 4 yrs of trying to adopt what would be our only child, have to find a different path.

Can anyone recommend an adoption attorney who works with couples in New Jersey looking for newborn adoptions domestically? We are so scared to use an adoption agency again and we have an up to date homestudy and are all ready to ‘go’.

Do we consider Adoption Consultants instead of an Attorney for this process of finding a newborn? 

ANY and ALL advice is appreciated.


Hi Maddy,

I’m so sorry to hear of your sad situation. I don’t know any attorneys in NJ (I’m in CA) but just wanted to say my husband and I were in the same situation. Had been with a lousy attorney for over three years with virtually no leads (came to find out too late that he was one foot into retirement and just didn’t care anymore; basically took our money and did nothing for us).

We were about to give up but then found another attorney with very different methods, and who puts a lot of her energy into birthmothers and doing what’s best for them. In short, she is a very compassionate individual and we feel not just in it for the money. She also works with an assistant who was amazing in helping us put together our profile and provide us with emotional support.

It was the best decision we ever made - within a few months we were matched with a birthmother! Our son is now almost 5. My point in writing you is, don’t give up. Go with someone else. The good thing about going with an attorney is you don’t pay most of the fees up front as you do with an agency. The downside is, they don’t usually have the staff to provide other support. So try to find a really great attorney who is known for having a good heart and perhaps works with an assistant.

Don’t give up! In the end, it’ll all be worth it! Best of luck to you in your journey.

S. California

Posted by mh2o on Jan 15, 2021 at 2:28pm

You might try American Academy of Adoption Attorneys they have about a dozen attorneys listed in NJ. I’d check anyone you might like to use out thoroughly though. Ditto the same with agencies if you decide to look into them again. Find out what their policy is for help offering counseling etc to birth or expectant mothers considering adoption. (The less people are pushed to adoption the better your chances of it working out with a child who really needs a home.) You can post on here if you are considering a specific agent or attorney for feedback too.
Good luck.

Posted by Happy Camper on Jan 17, 2021 at 4:46am

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