Hi Christy,

It is definitely possible. It’s just that often times they are really trying to get the older kids adopted first (and push those). But let me tell you that infants are put into the system every day. I’m here in Houston and they don’t have enough foster parents for all the newborns and are even having to put them in shelters, etc. 

There are more challenges with newborns, in the sense that it can take a lot longer to get rights terminated (at least a year, if not longer) - to give mom enough time to get her “act together”, as well as there is usually alot more extended family members that will take on a baby, etc.

There is always a risk with going foster to adopt - because rights haven’t been terminated and anything can happen, but if you’re willing to take the risk, you can have a newborn right out of the hospital.

We got our daughter at 17 months. It took 9 months to terminate rights and we are waiting for the adoption to be finalized. I have 4 other friends who all got newborns and all are in the process of adopting. So there is hope!

I know in our area, caucasian babies are much harder to get, so if you’re open to another race, that should open up your doors. 

Are you already foster parents?  Where do you live? Just research what you can, where you are, and make sure that you go with an agency that is supportive of YOUR family and what YOUR needs and desires are…and hold on that!

Not true for us.  Ours arrived at 16 months - though he had a 5 and 7 year old sister who came with him.  I know of someone who was selected for an infant before the infant was born.  The birth mother had mental health issues and would have lost custody if she didn’t make the choice to relinquish custody.  Another friend of mine started with two toddlers - one was 1 1/2 and the other was a 2 1/2ish. 

I think the case workers just get cranky over time.  Kids are definitely removed before age 5 - in fact, if I’m not mistaken, that’s when they are at highest risk for abuse and removal (albeit sometimes temporary).  The caseworker might have also been referring to children who are freed for adoption.  The young ones are likely just beginning the process of social workers intervening, providing services to birth parents, etc.  Depending on the size of the city you are in, you may need to get involved with those not freed for adoption early on and risk the infant being returned in order to end up with a child age 3-4 or younger.

I was lucky to get a 2mo beautiful girl that has stolen my heart from foster care. I live in Md, and through the county I live in I never received any infants, but chatting with a friend who is a foster parent in a neighboring county in Md, she mentioned she was getting calls about a baby, but did not want to take her, she has adopted 2 girls as infants already, so
I said I would like to take her, worker talked to worker, supervisor to supervisor, and today she is mine, TPR hearing is in May, and I am so in love. ask around, put yourself out there to other foster parents, other counties in your state, the intake unit in your Social Service office, let your workers supervisor know you are interested in an infant, make yourself known. trust me it helps.

We have been foster parents since 2005.. we only foster newborns (hoping to adopt).  We have had four newborn/straight from the hospital placements.. 2 reunifications and 2 adoptions. 

So there is def. hope.  You just need to make sure you go in with your eyes open to the possible heartache that goes along with foster/adopt of newborns. 

Our firt placement was our beautiful baby girl.  She was with us from five days old to 10 months.  We thought that the infertility was emotionally hard.  Her reunification was by far the hardest thing I have ever gone through.  I would not trade one single day I had with her though.  She was preparing our hearts for our sons.  It has been a wonderful experience for us.

Christy,

We starting ot do fostercare when our son was 2. We told the county we would only take kids younger than him. They told us that we would be waiting a long time since we were so specific. We waited 2 weeks before our first foster child and have been kept very busy ever since. We have been doing foste care for 6 years, 21 kids have come to us, almost all newborns. We have adopted 2, both we picked up at hte hospital. The whole process does take longer as it takes a while to terminate parental rights, Our first daughter, took 15 months and our second daughters will be finalized on March 1st, taking almost 18 months. But, unlike international adoption, the babie are with you the entire time you are waiting.  If an infant is what you are wanting, then tell them you will only foster infants or under age one, I bet you will be very busy in a short amount of time.  By the way, it is so rewarding and worth the wait.  Good Luck!

Thanks so much guys!  This information is really helpful for me!  We live in Tennessee, for those of you who were wondering.  We are not currently foster parents but we have a homestudy from our two private adoptions (it would just have to be updated).  We don’t know anyone here who has done foster to adopt!  Thank you all so much for sharing your stories!  We had such great experiences with our two private adoptions but it is so expensive we really didn’t want to go that route again! 

One more question if you guys don’t mind….how does it affect your children if you get a baby and a few months later he/she is returned to the birth family?  Does it make them worry that they will have to leave too?  Our kids are 3 and 4 and are very smart.  They know their adoption stories but I doubt they completely get it yet.  I don’t want to do anything that will cause too much emotional stress on them.  Do you refer to the baby as their “brother” or “sister”  even if you are not sure you will get to adopt the baby?

Thanks again!
Christy

Christy,  Maybe the soc worker was referring to the amount of time you will have to wait for a newborn in adoptions.  I did straight foster care and run a foster and adoption support group and have never seen a shortage of babies.  I only take newborns and primarily from the medical unit.  These children stay longer to be certain of their health issues.  I was usually asked if i wanted to adopt the infants after they had been with me 4-6 months.  I live in Ca and some soc workers do not feel foster families should adopt their children….others are fine with it.  My 2 girls came to me at birth as foster babies…they were finally adopted at 2 1/2 and 3 1/2 years old.  They were both drug exposed and premies on heart monitors….They are both normal and happy healthy little girls.

It is possible. My husband and I were fortunate enough to adopt a baby that was just 5 weeks old through the foster/adopt system. Our situation was unique in that the birth parents made the decision to place their baby for adoption because they were both in college and the preganancy was unplanned. Our daughter was placed with a foster family prior to being placed with us because the caseworker was reviewing home studies prior to placing her with an adoptive family. My parents have been foster parents for more than 10 years now and they have had newborn infants placed with them, but due to my parents age, they were only interested in fostering these babies until they were placed back with their families or with adoptive parents. It is definitely possible to adopt a baby through the foster care system.

We were placed with our daughter when she was 4 months old.  We had 3 bio sons ages 4, 9, and 10 at the time.  Entire process took 20 months to finalization day. There are many ups and downs, and it can be scary and frustrating because trust me, my heart was deeply in love the first time I laid eyes on my daughter.  It was so worth it, though, as she brings such joy to our family.  We had 4 other placements before our daughter.  They all only stayed a few days before they were returned to birth parents.  We told our sons each time one was placed with us that we were ” babysitting” (a term they could understand).  We told them we were only takiing care of the child until their parents could take care of her again. The ones that left after a few days never even phased them.  If our daughter had to leave after a year and a half, I think it would’ve been hard on them. Even right up until our daughter’s tpr, we told them she could go back just in case it did happen. We told them it would be wonderful if she could become a permanent part of our family.  We are hoping to adopt two more children 5 and under through foster care.  Good luck!

We too adopted our daughter from foster care.  She was our first foster placement and came to us straight from the hospital at 5 days old.  We had been licensed 7 days when we got the call about her.  We adopted her 14 months later on Nat’l Adoption Day. 

My dear friend has fostered 4 newborns…and adopted every single one of them. 

Another friend has fostered 3 infants and she adopted all of them as well.

The agencies tell you worst-case scenario to prepare your hearts for disappointment.  If you can handle knowing you may have to say goodbye, go for it! 

As for how our kids react when foster children leave…they know why we do it and they know that God places the children where He wants them to be.  It hurts for a little while but they are better for having had the experience. Now with the 3 1/2 year old homicidal foster son we had…they were SO glad to say goodbye to him!

Just wondering, I’m in southern Cal. & if anyone knows a good social worker for foster/adopt infant with race of child open? Sounds like some Soc. workers don’t like to adopt to foster parents. Also, an emotional question of if & how you give yourself completely to the bonding process that a foster infant desperately needs, such as co-sleeping, baby bjorn, & the constant reassurance? Obviously ever parent has a style & some of you already have children & may be more relaxed.  This would be our 1st & we are in our late 30’s, are there any tricks to the mental approach we can take yet still give a baby everything it needs/wants? These are the most helpful posts I have seen on this subject. Thanks a bunch! The idea that opened my eyes the most was that the child is with you rather than in an orphanage for a year & a half or so where you don’t know if it is even being held regularly. In addition, some of you said it has taken years to adopt from foster care while social workers have told me that I guess here in So. Cal the decision on where the infant would end up needs to be determined by the courts by one year. The social worker said this was a relatively new benefit both to the child & Foster parent ultimately looking to adopt.

In answer to your question about a good social worker in So. Cal. In the foster adopt system , you have to contact an agency or a social worker in your county. We were matched to a babygirl outside of our county, but when going through the home study and becoming certified foster parents, we had to go through an agency in the county we live in. Your home study will be reviewed by social workers in various counties and when you are matched, they will contact you. The agency that we became certified with did not match us with our daughter, a nearby county contacted us after reviewing our home study. Our adoption was finalized in 7 months.
The best way to bond with your baby is to not have too much contact with other family/friends in the beginning. I know this sounds kind of selfish, but it is important for your baby to know who mommy and daddy are. This may sound kind of funny, but I was advised by the social worker, who was also an adoptive mother, to take the baby home and to place the baby on my bare chest and to wrap a blanket around us so the baby can get use to my smell. Since a baby’s vision is pretty blurry in the first few weeks of life, they recognize their parents by their smell. If you and your hubby work, I would advise you to take a few weeks off from work to bond-this is very important, especially in the very beginning. Good Luck!!!

Hi Christy-
We have adopted 2 little girls and we recieved both of them straight from the hospital.  Our only request was that we wanted a girl younger than our oldest.  At the time of our frist adoption our oldest was 7 and our younger son was 4.  We felt that respecting his birth order was important being the eldest, but with our second son we felt a little different.  He was at the time the youngest, so that was his current birht order, and if we put a child between the 2 of them he would still be the youngest, so we weren’t too concerned.

We lived in Texas at the time of our first adoption.  We took in several young girls ranging in age from 6 to newborn.  We actually thought that a premie baby was going to be ours.  My boys refered to her as their sister and we loved and nurtured he for 2 months.  A family memeber ended up adopting her.  It was heart breaking for all of us.  Very quickly after the loss of this little one, we recieved a call about a newborn who needed placement.  I said to bring her over and 6 months later we went to court to adopt out baby girl. 
Our second adoption was in Washington.  We did respite care for a pregnant 15 year old.  She ended up asking us to adopt her baby.  This was not our intention we we said we would do respite for this young girl.  It ended up taking almost 2 years to finalize but that is mostly due to the state and paperwork, not to tadoption difficulties.  Before we adopted our second child we had several foster children.
My view: In pregnancy there is always the possiblity of miscarriage.  Adoption is no different.  It is heartbreaking but if we want that baby we don’t let the possibility of heartbreak stop us.  My 2 boys have many children that they consider their “sisters.”  We keep in contact with as many of the children as we can and still see several of them.  I know my younger son has had some issues with losing siblings.  When we first recieved our older daughter he had a hard time leaving her side.  I still think the good has out weighed the bad.
Good luck and don’t e put off by the social workers.

My daughter came to me for the first time at 3 months. At the time, I was told that this would probably be an adoptive placement (with the usual caveat that there are no guarantees in foster care).  After I got the baby in my home, the social workers completely changed it up and said they had no idea where I got the notion that this was a probable adoptive placement.  That was frustrating because I wanted to have all the information before taking a child in my home.  They are not dolls, for goodness sake, and should not be bounced around like rags!  Anyway, to make a long story short,  she went back with her birth mother at 7 months.  It was like a death in my family that wasn’t acknowledged because I didn’t have the right to her in the first place.  The other implication was that I should have known that reunification was a possibility at the start, so why should I be shattered now?  I did not realize the emotions that would be evoked, even after only 4 months.  That being said, it ended up well and I ended up adopting her.  She is the light of my life and I can’t imagine my life without her.  However, I caution people who foster to adopt.  You have to be in it to win it and realize that you are a foster parent only.  You may get lucky, you may not. 

But the notion that you cant get infants from foster care is ridiculous. If a birth mom cannot parent, the age of the child at the end of the day is irrelevant.  The problem is, that there are more people who want cute little babies than older kids that may have been through emotional trauma and carry baggage. 

If you go into foster care with a full heart and a willingness to endure the worst pain possible, you may end up with the joy of your life.

I live in So Cal. and went through the fos-adopt program within my county.  My son came to us when he was 2 mo old and my daughter when she was 10 mo old.  We waited only 7 months for the call for my son and less than 4 months for the call for my duaghter.  I actually thought that it would take longer for me to get a 2nd infant so I put my application in early and was quite surprised when I got called for my daughter.  Honestly, I was thinking it would take a year so I was really unprepared, but nonetheless excited.

It certainly is possible for infants to be placed.  They are typically the most sought after, however I think the wait comes in when you make other special requests (specific race, no drug or alcohol background, etc).