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Contacted by desperate young mom

A woman my husband knows from work is only 19 and is pregnant. She doesn’t want to be a mother (so far, things change). She asked my husband to be this childs adoptive parents (she wants no contact after and no money). she doesn’t want it, the father denies it, and her parents are not in her life and haven’t talked to her since age 16.
We weren’t even looking to adopt but have always been interested. But if she doesn’t change her mind, how would this situation play out in court? Basically, what are the steps? She is young as I stated so she thinks she can just sign custody over and the adoption is done. I need a clear and concise chain of events for her so she is aware. I am not familiar with the laws for this situation in Ohio. advice is appreciated. Even nuggets of wisdom for her in case she keeps it. I like this kid a lot and I’d like to support her regardless of what she chooses.


You need to find an agency or lawyer to make sure she has counseling before the baby is born. The rights of the father must also be attended to.
If you want to adopt you need to have a completed home study done.
If she changes her mind she keeps the child she can not waive rights until after the baby is born then she has so many days to change her mind.
There can be a contract re openness etc.
If your family doesn’t want to adopt the lawyer/agency can find another family she likes. I think an agency is needed for home study it depends on the state

Posted by Regina on Oct 04, 2019 at 4:18pm

I agree with Regina that she needs counseling, but not that it should come from an (adoption) agency or a lawyer. Or, god forbid, a “crisis pregnancy center.”
She needs to be hooked up with a social service agency that provides truly objective counseling: Planned Parenthood, if any even exist near her, or a something like Catholic Charities or Jewish Family Service (not endorsing them or faith-based orgs, just examples) that provide adoption services as one among many of the services it offers.
Regina is also correct that the father’s rights need to be addressed. He may be denying it now, but he is still the father and has rights (so does his family in many cases if they want to raise the child). And things with him might change. Lots of young men balk initially and then step up to the plate when it becomes real that they have a child.
I love that you want to support her for herself and her own good. Good for you.

Posted by NoraT on Oct 04, 2019 at 6:48pm

Thanks to you both. I have some concern for her mental state more than I do about me. I would gladly go through the home study and a lawyer and all that. But her being so young? Giving up a child without counseling? I think you both are right. She needs to talk to a professional. And she has been threatening to abort this child at home. She is that desperate. I’m not sure she understands the implications of all of this.
We talked her down from hurting herself but if I hear it again I will contact the authorities. There is some reason this girl showed up in our lives. I won’t get to personally involved of course for my own well-being and my husbands. But I can’t let this kid hurt herself over the actions of a teenager.
I just am curious what could be done about the father because he will have no contact with her and denies it’s his. I am wondering if court can compell him to a DNA test.

Posted by EllieH on Oct 04, 2019 at 7:10pm

Deleted because I said something I’m not sure is legally correct.

Posted by NoraT on Oct 04, 2019 at 9:34pm

If she is so desperate that she is considering a home abortion, and she is within the legal framework to have a legal abortion, she needs to talk to an options counselor pronto, regardless of how anyone feels about legal abortion.

Posted by NoraT on Oct 04, 2019 at 9:41pm

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