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Adoptive Breastfeeding

Birth Mom's Opinion on Breastfeeding?

My husband and I are still in the researching stage of domestic infant adoption. I was thinking about attempting to brestfeed our future adoptive child. There is a lot of information about how to do it etc. But not a lot about how birth mamas would feel about it? As a birth mom, how would you feel about this? Would it be a plus for our family, or a minus? Has anyone been open with the birth mom about this? How did she feel about it?


My daughter’s birthmother was shocked when I first mentioned my plans to breastfeed, but after some thought (and several days) she understood that it was the healthiest thing for the baby.

You may wish to discuss your breastfeeding plans with your adoption professional first.  She may be able to facilitate this discussion with the potential birthmother.

Congratulations and good luck!

Posted by Alyssa IBCLC on Jun 18, 2014 at 10:51pm

This has been a topic of conversation lately in the Adoptive Breastfeeding (private) Facebook group, which you may want to join, Adopter55. Here’s the link:

Posted by YeahBaby on Jun 18, 2014 at 11:48pm

I kind of view it as any other parenting choice, do you plan to discuss all your parenting choices with her? For example, forms of discipline, use of daycare, private vs public school when older, etc. If you’re going to discuss these things from the beginning with her, then mention your plans to breastfeed with her. If not I would view it as just another parenting decision made by you, and not even bring it up.

Posted by rn4kidz on Jun 19, 2014 at 4:03am

I agree with rn4kidz in a way, because it’s not like you will get the “okay” on their diet later on.  BUT, for myself I felt like I needed to mention it.  I wanted an open adoption, and that would start in the hospital, and nursing was something that I wanted to start as soon as possible so I felt it would be awkward to suddenly introduce the decision and concept after TPR.

I was definitely nervous when bringing the topic up on the phone, and had it all written out - what I wanted to say and how to express it in a positive and simple way.  Anyway, my DD’s birthmother was thrilled at the thought of it! She was fully supportive.

I think we even had a discussion about it on this site around that time (Summer 2012), if you search back through the posts…

Good luck!

Posted by mamina on Jun 19, 2014 at 5:11am

LOL, I knew that sounded familiar…

Posted by mamina on Jun 19, 2014 at 5:17am

Reported above to admins….

Posted by mamina on Jun 21, 2014 at 12:07am

Our daughter’s Birthmom was grossed out that I planned to breast feed. But she said if I wanted to, to go for it. And I did. smile

Posted by MotheringBoys on Jun 21, 2014 at 12:08am

thanks so much everyone! I joined the facebook group.
Thankyou mamina, that link is very helpful! Just what I was looking for smile

Posted by adopter55 on Jun 21, 2014 at 8:32pm

Our son’s birth-mom thought it was interesting and neat that a woman’s body could do that. Her mom had a hard time with it though. It may be something to discuss with the nurses out of earshot if it’s a sensitive topic.

Posted by nille13 on May 18, 2015 at 10:21pm

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