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BioSisters removed from Birthparents

Hi y’all,
I am looking for some guidance, some advice, some thoughts, your two cents, or some cheering on…
Here’s the deal:
We adopted our first daughter in 2011- open adoption- she was the 4th born daughter to the birthparents (same birthmother and birthfather for all).  The birthparents had custody, at the time, of the other 3 daughters (the oldest ones).
Then birthmother got pregnant again in 2012.  We were screwed around with by an agency and ended up not being able to adopt this sister.  We are now in contact with her wonderful adoptive family through FB. For that, I am very grateful.
WAIT FOR IT…The next year (2013), birthmother gets pregnant AGAIN.  This time, we are able to adopt this birthsister.  Birthmother got her tubes tied after baby girl #6!
Fast forward to present day- Both birthparents- still together after 6 daughters (3 placed for adoption) are addicts and homeless and had the oldest 3 daughters taken away and placed in foster care. Although we remain in touch with the birthparents (I use that term loosely as I know what city they are in and they have our phone number and we are friends on FB so they can see pictures), we have lost all contact with the 3 oldest sisters (ages 11, 12, 13)
Their foster mother adopted the 3 other girls. From my own sleuthing and process of elimination, I believe I know what school the girls attend.  As a matter of fact, the adoptive/foster mom is a teacher there.

HERE’S MY QUESTION:  Would it be creepy to write a letter to their school counselor, not asking for information but just giving our information so that she may pass it on to the adoptive mom of the 3 oldest?

Should I call their former case worker that we knew USED to work for Texas DCFS and see if she could pass on our information to the adoptive mom?

I’m not looking FOR information.  I am a teacher myself and I know the rules of strict confidentiality.  I would just love for all of the sisters (who look like stairsteps by the way, all beautiful) to be in contact one day should they choose.  Time is of the essence.

I appreciate your taking the time to read this post- it has been weighing heavily on my heart.


I would definitely reach out and I see absolutely nothing creepy about it. In my own experience and from much of what I have read, children of adoption value sibling relationships above all other birth family relationships. Good luck!

Posted by Lucy2012 on Oct 30, 2018 at 5:15pm

I agree- I would totally reach out. I think your idea of passing through the counselor is providing enough cushion so it doesn’t seem too creepy. Let the other parent decide if it feels right, and if she wishes to initiate contact.

Posted by wahs on Nov 08, 2018 at 3:22pm

Absolutely not creepy. I am also a teacher and adoptive mom and I would be delighted if somebody reached out to me in a similar situation. Good luck!

Posted by Louise15 on Nov 09, 2018 at 1:43am

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