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BioSisters removed from Birthparents


Hi y’all,
I am looking for some guidance, some advice, some thoughts, your two cents, or some cheering on…
Here’s the deal:
We adopted our first daughter in 2011- open adoption- she was the 4th born daughter to the birthparents (same birthmother and birthfather for all).  The birthparents had custody, at the time, of the other 3 daughters (the oldest ones).
Then birthmother got pregnant again in 2012.  We were screwed around with by an agency and ended up not being able to adopt this sister.  We are now in contact with her wonderful adoptive family through FB. For that, I am very grateful.
WAIT FOR IT…The next year (2013), birthmother gets pregnant AGAIN.  This time, we are able to adopt this birthsister.  Birthmother got her tubes tied after baby girl #6!
Fast forward to present day- Both birthparents- still together after 6 daughters (3 placed for adoption) are addicts and homeless and had the oldest 3 daughters taken away and placed in foster care. Although we remain in touch with the birthparents (I use that term loosely as I know what city they are in and they have our phone number and we are friends on FB so they can see pictures), we have lost all contact with the 3 oldest sisters (ages 11, 12, 13)
Their foster mother adopted the 3 other girls. From my own sleuthing and process of elimination, I believe I know what school the girls attend.  As a matter of fact, the adoptive/foster mom is a teacher there.

HERE’S MY QUESTION:  Would it be creepy to write a letter to their school counselor, not asking for information but just giving our information so that she may pass it on to the adoptive mom of the 3 oldest?

Should I call their former case worker that we knew USED to work for Texas DCFS and see if she could pass on our information to the adoptive mom?

I’m not looking FOR information.  I am a teacher myself and I know the rules of strict confidentiality.  I would just love for all of the sisters (who look like stairsteps by the way, all beautiful) to be in contact one day should they choose.  Time is of the essence.

I appreciate your taking the time to read this post- it has been weighing heavily on my heart.

Replies

If you know who their adoptive mother is, and you are also a teacher, I would almost find it less creepy and definitely more direct, to send her a message on FB yourself, and perhaps add a photo of your girls so that she can have a glimpse of her daughter’s sisters.

Posted by seklock on Oct 30, 2018 at 4:20pm

If you can find her email that may be even better, than Facebook. I feel like this is similar to the tension we feel when approaching other more obvious adoptive families, than ours. Both parties are typically grateful to meet, but no one wants to break the ice.

Posted by KJr on Oct 30, 2018 at 4:29pm

Thanks for responding! My story is so confusing- let me clear this up- I am friends with the birthparents on FB as well as the adoptive parents of Sister #5. 
I am not friends on FB with the adoptive mother of Sisters #1-3.  That’s who I am trying to find and/or get in contact with.  The only thing I know about her is that she is a teacher and works at the school the girls go to.

Posted by alliecat on Oct 30, 2018 at 4:44pm

What is your goal?

Posted by David Michael on Oct 30, 2018 at 5:18pm

David, I’m just guessing, but I think you want to know what my goal is. lol wink
My goal is for me and the adoptive mother of the 3 oldest girls to form a relationship that would be conducive to our daughters getting to know each other as they get older if they so choose.

Posted by alliecat on Oct 30, 2018 at 5:34pm

Oh, I get it, so you do not know her name yet, or have her Facebook profile ID (regardless of whether you are “friends”).. is that correct?

Posted by seklock on Nov 06, 2018 at 4:25pm

Did the girls have a relationship before they were removed? If so, it must be hard on them all for sisters to suddenly disappear.
As a FFY, I don’t see anything creepy about reaching out. It’s not like you’re stalking them. I’m not even sure why they would have to wait until they are older to get to know each other, if the families can have a harmonious relationship.

Posted by NoraT on Nov 10, 2018 at 5:16pm

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