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So my daughters BM has informed me that her aunt and other family of her would like to start seeing my daughter, mind you I have not let my daughters BM see my daughter since we do not live in the same city. She has asked before but I don’t feel comfortable with that although I know she wouldn’t harm my daughter I just don’t think I want to allow her to talk or visit with her yet. Now back to my original question I don’t know how to feel about allowing my daughters biological family have visitations with her when this particular aunt is the one who called CPS and sent her away, she didn’t even take her in. Why now? Now that my daughter is 7 years old and has blossomed, she not the little 3 year old they last saw. I’m so confused about all this biological family visitation thing. Any suggestions on this???


If the child was being neglected or abused the aunt did the right thing calling CPS. There could be many reasons the aunt chose to not take her. That doesn’t mean she doesn’t love her.

I don’t know why now. You could ask.. When are you thinking a good time would be for your daughter to meet the bio family? I don’t, obviously know your daughter but there is no magic age.

Does your daughter know her story? Does she ask about birth family?

Would you feel more comfortable with picture exchange? face time on computer? Do you really want a closed adoption?

Posted by Regina on Sep 12, 2017 at 12:53pm

Like Regina, I don’t know the details but if you don’t think anyone would harm your daughter, it’s hard to see why you would keep her away from her biological family, which is actually just as much her family as yours is.
Think ahead to when she is grown, what will you tell her if she asks why you kept her away from her bmom and birth family when they wanted to see her?

Posted by Maryam on Sep 13, 2017 at 3:39pm

First let me say do what you feel is right for your daughter,if a letter or picture is what ur comfortable with right now,that’s your right as her mother. Some ppl here are not that supportive,ignore them.I come here for the few actually living the same situation as I am,for support n to vent, i ignore the rest. I also adopted my stepnephew out of messed up situation. Bm isn’t around n hasn’t seen my son,her choice,since he was a baby…I allow certain biofam around on my terms,but only ones I know are stable and safe for him.You are the Mother,and you call the shots here.Talk to your spouse and decide what you think is best. Open doesn’t mean they say jump,and you just do it.It can mean whatever you choose.However,i also try to think longterm,i dont want bm or anyone to ever come back in future n play the victim,so I always try to accommodate a lil so they can’t make me the bad guy later in life.Thats just me luck n trust your gut.

Posted by birds nest on Sep 15, 2017 at 5:39pm

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