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Anyone in NY/NJ use this attorney?


Hi, I have a consultation scheduled with Laurie Goldheim for private adoption.  She’s an attorney in NY and I wonder if anyone has any experience with her.

Thanks!

Replies

Thanks so much for this feedback.  I actually did read that article but it didn’t raise red flags for me, but that may be because I am so new to this and don’t even really understand the process.  Is it uncommon for an attorney to step in to formalize an agreement before the birth of a baby?  I didn’t realize this could be seen as unethical.  I have so much to learn about this.  I just left the infertility world after several years of trying and did go to an adoption conference, but am in such an early stage.  Laurie was recommended by someone I met at the adoption conference.  My mother passed away shortly after that conference and now after a few months I’m just getting back to taking steps to pursue adoption.  I must admit, I’m a bit scattered and unorganized, so I appreciate your feedback on steps to take before I meet with Laurie. 

Yes, I was planning to go alone (I am so used to doing everything on my own) but I think you are right.. I should ask my sister or a friend to come with me.  I will also ask for references and check with the NY Bar Assoc.  Thank you again!

Posted by DidiP on Mar 11, 2016 at 8:51pm

I adoptrd internationally when I lived in NYC. Lori Goldheim is an attorney who lots of members of APC used. You may wNt go get in touch with APC to learn more about all of this

Posted by Annab on Mar 11, 2016 at 11:59pm

Adoptive Parents Committee is a non profit sdoption dupport organization which offers monthly meetings and an annual conference. They meet in NYC and in the suburbs of NY and NJ and Connecticut.

Posted by Annab on Mar 12, 2016 at 12:14am

To the OP, if you are talking about domestic newborn adoption, most agencies and attorneys do match expectant moms (e-mom) with prospectant adoptive parents (PAP) prior to the baby being born.  After the baby is born the mom/parents sign a voluntary termination of their parental rights(TPR), assuming they still wish to place the child for adoption.  Many e-moms do change their minds and decide to parent, maybe as many as half, but I have never seen reliable statistics.  Laws vary from state to state, in some states there are revocation periods, meaning that after signing TPR, the parents have a period of time during which they can change their minds. If the baby is born in a different state than the adoptive parent, then both states have to approve the adoption (ICPC), and you will have to stay with baby in the sending state until that is approved.

The concern people have about pre-birth matching is how the e-mom is treated, and whether agencies or attorneys use coercive tactics to get parents to follow through with the adoption plan.  While I understand those concerns, and I certainly do not want anyone coerced into placing a child for adoption, the benefit of a third party like a reputable agency or attorney is they will explain adoption to both parties, provide resources and counseling to e-moms, and confirm pregnancy and act as go between.  Unfortunately, there are people who will try to scam PAP’s, sometimes women who are not even pregnant.

You should check the laws in New York, it was my understanding that the attorney gets involved only after the PAP has found a match, but maybe that has changed.

As a PAP, I would want to know what resources are made available to e-mom, is counseling provided, and how has this attorney dealt with unknown bio-father situation.  Many contested adoptions are related to bio-father, either not being informed about pregnancy or adoption.

Posted by jszmom on Mar 12, 2016 at 12:49am

Thank you so much for this information jszmom and Annab.  I really appreciate it!

Posted by DidiP on Mar 17, 2016 at 10:15pm

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