National Adoption Directory


Find an Adoption Agency

Find an Adoption Attorney

Full Directory ►

Join Adoption Groups!

Click the arrows to expand each group category below

Family Building Options

Starting Out in Adoption

Waiting to Adopt

U.S. Newborn Adoption

U.S. Foster Adoption

International Adoption

My Family

My Adoption Interests

My Child's Age/Stage

My Location

The Adoption Triad

Adoptive Families Magazine

Single Parents

Agency in IL


Hello all!  I’m currently “shopping” agencies and am hoping to find one in my home state of IL.  I’m getting a lot of push back from the agencies I’ve contacted about trying to adopt as a single.  Any successful single adopters from IL out there that can offer any suggestions or advice?  Any info appreciated!

Replies

I don’t know an agency in Illinois but I came to the thread to say that as a single I am having a hard time.  I have been with one agency 4 years with no referrals and another agency 2 years with no referrals.  An agency in Chicago told me to send my home study and then I never heard back.  What I have learned during my wait is that singles need to be with a high volume agency that places a lot of singles otherwise you get overlooked for couples.  I recommend that you find a Utah agency or another agency that advertises a lot for birth mothers and get a Chicago agency to do your homestudy.  So far I have paid 10k and not heard a word in 4 years I am stuck in a waiting game.  I hope my advice keeps you from ending up in the same situation.

Posted by Wanting2adopt on Mar 12, 2016 at 7:45am

I know how frustrating it can be…but you have options.  It’s hard enough as it to be matched as a couple, and especially as a single woman. I’m a single adoptive mom from the Chicagoland area. I engaged the guidance of an adoption consultant and I’m now an adoption consultant myself, with many single clients. While there are never guarantees for anyone with adoption, there are things you can do to help greatly increase your chances of a quicker match. For one, signing up with multiple agencies across the country without investing a lot of money. If you’d like me to help you understand this better, answer any of your questions or tell you what I do know about the agencies in IL, feel free to message me and we can set that up. If nothing else, just know what options you have. It’s important. I hope to connect. -Becca G., RG Adoption Consulting.

Posted by RGAdopt on Mar 12, 2016 at 2:11pm

I’m hoping to adopt a newborn through a domestic program.  Foster to adopt is also an option I am considering, but my first choice is domestic newborn.

I am curious why a Utah agency would be suggested, I’ve only been agency shopping for a couple months and I’d never really heard Utah specifically mentioned as a good option for singles?

Some of the “favorite” negative statements I’ve heard so far from agencies:
1.  “Maybe you should reconsider until after you’ve gotten married.”
2.  “Yes, we accept singles but only when it’s financially in our favor to do so.”
3. “We forgot to take that we accept singles off our website.”

I’m not going to name names of the agencies, they were all smaller agencies and I’d already gotten the feeling that it would probably be in my better interest to pursue a larger agency or a national agency instead.

Posted by mandylu1215 on Mar 12, 2016 at 3:15pm

As a single, adoptive parent I’ll say this: this has got to be the most difficult, painful path a person can walk on. Yes, of course, the love, the rewards and all that go with it are a huge blessing, but don’t be fooled into thinking it’s a job for one parent. It is way harder in more ways you can imagine (if you’re not yet a parent). There’s a reason why agencies prefer couples or “whole” families. It takes a village to raise a child. I hope you have one. I thought I did but turns out I did not.  So, even though there are millions of orphans in the world, I would think long and hard before jumping into such a challenging, life-altering commitment as a single parent. Sorry, just needed to get that off my chest. And that’s one person’s experience. Maybe other single moms would tell you otherwise.
And I would suggest that if you really are committed to doing this holy work, that you search outside of Illinois for your agency. I adopted internationally and used an agency from Oregon.  Good luck to you on the path.

Posted by Ellen Sue on Mar 12, 2016 at 3:54pm

I adopted as a single woman about a year ago (newborn domestic). There are absolutely agencies who will work with you. I would do a lot of research before signing with anyone. You will need a home study agency near you, so I would look for one that is knowledgeable about using agencies out of state as well as supportive of single parent adoption. I also would encourage you to research and decide what you are open to. I heard over and over from agencies the more “open” you are the sooner you will be matched. That being said, you should never accept a match if you aren’t comfortable. So please think about race, drug exposure, alcohol exposure, possible birth defects and legal risk associated with the birth father. I would also caution that if you are not open to some (but not necessarily all) of these risks you may wait a very, very long time. I registered with 4 agencies with low up front fees. I would register with 2 of them again and look for other options. I also registered with a few consultants and matched through one (I didn’t end up accepting it). I had 2 failed matches through 2 different agencies. My daughter was a baby already born situation I was lucky enough to be matched with after my second fall through. I lost a lot of money and cried a lot of tears but absolutely could not imagine my life without my daughter in it. The process is financially and emotionally exhausting but completely worth it when you find the child that is meant to be yours. Good luck!

Posted by singlemom2b on Mar 13, 2016 at 1:42am

Hi, I am not from IL, but I am a single mom and I adopted domestically 4 years ago.  I second the comments of previous posters in that you can certainly find an agency that supports adoption by singles. 

I did a lot of research and my first few questions to an agency became, do you have an age limit (because I am an older mom), do you work with singles and what is your average wait time.  I talked to more agencies that were not a good fit for me and just kept moving on.  In the end, I narrowed it down to two agencies.  One in California and one in Pennsylvania.  I registered with just one agency because it seemed right from the start.  It was never a question with them of if I would adopt, just a question of when.

Definitely do your research regarding exposure and decide honestly what you feel comfortable with.  At one point my social worker said to me you aren’t giving me much to work with, so I did my second round of research and broadened my selections.

There were several situations where I decided not to be presented because they just didn’t feel right to me.  It was definitely an emotional rollercoaster,but you have to go with your gut feeling.

At about 1 1/2 years into the “waiting” phase my social worker was assigned to a young birthmother.  She was looking for a two parent family.  My social worker took along my profile, as well as others, and she picked me.  I was in shock, but I know it’s what was meant to be.

It’s been quite a ride, but I wouldn’t change it.  It certainly isn’t easy doing it on your own, but it can be done.  If you would like any additional information, just send me a note privately.  Good luck!

Posted by Jean Marie on Mar 13, 2016 at 2:36am

I am an adoptive single mom living in Il.  I also began ,y journey with an agency but parted ways mid way through the home study.  I ended up working with Angel Adoption to help find the EM match, they can possibly recommend somewhere to get your home study completed.  I was very happy and found my match within a year of working with them and a few short months later my daughter was born.  Good luck.

Posted by Triley5 on Mar 14, 2016 at 1:41am

I am an adoptive single mom living in Il.  I also began ,y journey with an agency but parted ways mid way through the home study.  I ended up working with Angel Adoption to help find the EM match, they can possibly recommend somewhere to get your home study completed.  I was very happy and found my match within a year of working with them and a few short months later my daughter was born.  Good luck.

Posted by Triley5 on Mar 14, 2016 at 1:41am

I am an adoptive single mom living in Il.  I also began ,y journey with an agency but parted ways mid way through the home study.  I ended up working with Angel Adoption to help find the EM match, they can possibly recommend somewhere to get your home study completed.  I was very happy and found my match within a year of working with them and a few short months later my daughter was born.  Good luck.

Posted by Triley5 on Mar 14, 2016 at 1:41am

I am an adoptive single mom living in Il.  I also began ,y journey with an agency but parted ways mid way through the home study.  I ended up working with Angel Adoption to help find the EM match, they can possibly recommend somewhere to get your home study completed.  I was very happy and found my match within a year of working with them and a few short months later my daughter was born.  Good luck.

Posted by Triley5 on Mar 14, 2016 at 1:41am

Reply to this thread

You must be logged in to reply. To login, click here. Not a member? Join AdoptiveFamiliesCircle today. It's free and easy!







NATIONAL ADOPTION DIRECTORY


Find an Adoption Agency

Find an Adoption Attorney or Agency



Search the full directory ►