Find Adoption Services
Find Agencies by Country
U.S. Adoptive Families
Advice on contacting birthmother.
I was hoping for some advice on our situation. We adopted our daughter in 5-09 as a newborn from TX (we’re in IN) and have had a semi-open adoption with her BM ever since (send letters and photos once a year until age 18 through the agency). At first we were hestitant about a more contact, but now we are open to phone calls and include our number in each letter and tell her to call anytime. Unfortunately, in 3 years we have only heard from her BM one time and that was when she was 6 weeks old. BM called to make sure we were happy with her-which of course we said yes and that she had given us the most beautiful girl to raise. Also in the hospital, BM didn’t want to see, hold, or hear the baby. I truely think it was her way of letting go as easily as possible.
Now our dilemma-our agency ASA has sudden closed it doors so now I have no where to send letters and pics to. Even though our BM may not want phone contact, I always felt like maybe she liked getting those letters and pics once a year, just so she could see how the baby was doing. Our BM lived with her dad at the time our daughter was born. With her permission, he gave us their address and I still have it. They were very close and I know she still lives in the same city, but I don’t know if BM still lives with her dad. I still would like to send letters and pics, but I also don’t want to bother BM if it would be to hard for her. Our yearly letter is coming up. I have thought about sending the letter to her dad’s house addressed to BM and no return address on the envelope, that way her dad wouldn’t know it was from us (he had a very difficult time with adoption also and wanted to see baby in hospital, but BM said no). In the letter I would explain that the agency has closed and ask if she would like to still get letter and pics. We would include our address and phone #, and say to write or call us and give us her address and we would send them or even be open to other forms of communication.
Should we send a letter or just let it go until our daughter is 18 and can get access to adoption records (records will be going to state of TX to be stored)?
Most Popular Articles on AdoptiveFamilies.com
Recommended Adoption Book