We were matched with our daughter through Little bit of heaven and we loved them.  They were incredibly nice and are in adoption of all the right reasons, they answered any questions we had and the adoption went through without any hitches.  i believe they do have a lot of situation slower than $25K because they focus mainly on bi-racial babies and older children.  They do seem to have a lot of situations and match a lot of families.  What I liked about them was the fact that the attorneys they work with, really care about the bm’s in the process.  Our attorney was in the hospital late Saturday night when my daughter was born and they came back on Monday and stay for quite a while, they are invested in both parties.

i would highly recommend them, if you have any specific questions, ask away.

Grainne

BM is a short term for bowel movement… not birthmother.  Birth mother or bmom is how a woman who relinquished her child should be referred to.  Until she has relinquished her child and is pregnant she should be referred to as a expectant mother.  If her child is born she is simply mother until termination of rights is complete.

You can also call an expectant mother and emom. Thanks EST for reminding people.

I was signed on with all three of these - and I would recommend them, even though we ended up adopting our baby from another agency we were with. I think they’re all reasonable in their fees ($1200), and they do all get situations of 25k or less. Each has a good number of situations that come up, especially if you are open to biracial or AA babies.

I believe all 3 are caring and ethical. Again, we didn’t place thru them, but I do have friends who have and friends who are still working with them, and all have been pleased so far.

I haven’t personally worked with any of these three and do not know about them, but a good rule of thumb when looking at agencies/attys is, if the “fee schedule” is significantly different with non-white babies, then the agency/attorney doesn’t give a crap about the bmom’s or babies, they’re just looking to turn a buck. 

Adoption agencies should not have a “sale rack”

I haven’t personally worked with any of these three and do not know about them, but a good rule of thumb when looking at agencies/attys is, if the “fee schedule” is significantly different with non-white babies, then the agency/attorney doesn’t give a crap about the bmom’s or babies, they’re just looking to turn a buck. 

Adoption agencies should not have a “sale rack”

Honestly - people can refer to others in whatever way feels appropraite to them. It really annoys me when people feel free to “correct” the laguage of others in these posts. I use BM and birthmother because it makes sense to me - i respect the opinion of those who wish to use “expectant mother” but please don’t impose your views on others. There is no right way to do most things It’s challenging enough for folks to have the coursgeto post without running the additional risk of being “corrected”

Thanks for the feedback everyone. It is very helpful!

It is not the correct language.  BM is short term for bowel movement and not for birth mom AND the other is coercive.  If you can not be bothered to simply learn accept and use the correct terms in the adoption world it troubles me what else you will not be bothered to learn accept and use.

I agree with bobby 100%. 

If adoption is about finding homes for babies why would there be a difference in price of the child? 
And why in the world would a child have a price tag?

Sounds like they are selling babies to me…

These three entities aren’t agencies, exactly. They work with agencies. When an agency has a situation for which it does not have any waiting parents, or for which an emom wants more profiles to see, that agency would contact LBoH, HeavenSent, or Bundle of Joy. Then, the referral service emails its waiting parents.

(To confuse matters, HeavenSent and LBoH are agencies that only work as agencies with couples in Michigan and Ohio, respectively.)

Many agencies base the adoption fees on the race of the child. IMO, it’s unethical and racist. In fact, one term for these pricing structures is “racist fee structures.” However, this isn’t the thread to discuss that; it’s the thread to discuss the 3 referral services.

The 3 referral services charge the same fee regardless of the race of the child. I have known Betty at LBoH to waive her fee for specific special needs children, however.

And, again, not so much for this thread, but… EST is right about the terminology. Most of the birthmothers I’ve encountered find the abbreviation “BM” disrespectful. Adoption.com used to block it from people’s posts - you’d see “**”. I don’t allow it on the list I moderate.

And a woman isn’t a birthmother until she has given birth and relinquished. Until then, she’s an expectant mother, or emom.

Thank you for your observances EST. 

I sure don’t want my kids to refer to their birthmothers as BMs!

They are women who loved their kids enough to let them go rather than abort them or keep them when they were unable to do so.  We laud them for their selflessness.

thanks cairtmg…
One note- I would not tell your kids that they could have been aborted.  All of us could have been aborted- even those of us whose parents kept us- especially after 1973.  Adoptees are told we should be thankful for not being aborted.  it can cause a lot of weird/bad feelings for an adoptee.  We do talk about it but it just does not sit well with us.  What I think is that all humans could have been aborted…  and its just not a good idea to put that extra layer of gratefulness onto an adoptee:)  Just my perspective.  I am sure another adoptee could speak to this… more eloquently than I did…

I know what you are saying.  truly I do.  But it just is not a good idea to think along those lines.

Oh, I agree!  I would never say that to my dear daughter.  That is a comfort for us alone. 

We are just grateful that her birthmother loved her enough to have her & then to leave her in a sheltered public stairwell where she could be found & taken to a safe place.

Sorry if I sounded like I would say that to anyone!

Re: your comment earlier comment about babies & price tags.  We purposely have never added up what it cost to adopt either of our kids, so we can truly say that we do not know.  Thirteen & sixteen years later we could not even remember all the details/costs, anyway!