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Kinship Adoption

Adopting my husband's cousin's unborn baby


My husband’s cousin is 35(currently 6 weeks pregnant) and unmarried with a 1 yr old son.  She still lives home with her mother and is currently pursuing a nursing degree and the father doesn’t want her to even have the baby.  My husband and I have been TTC for over 15 yrs.  She asked my husband and I adopt her unborn baby.  How easy is it to go through the kinship adoption process? Any advice from any with experience with kinship adoption would be greatly appreciated

Replies

Find a local attorney that deals with private adoption, they can answer your questions. 
    We adopted my husband’s cousin’s child(toddler).  The child was adopted out of foster care by the grandparents.  They went to an attorney and wrote up a document giving use legal guardianship.  So we could take the child out of their care.  Grandparents then wrote up another document that relinquished all parental rights to the child.  From placement until official adoption it was 4 months.  Grandparents do no live in the same state as we do.

Posted by Fleur on Nov 27, 2019 at 4:56pm

Fleur thank you for your response.  Yes, I’m scouting Adoption Attorneys now.  That’s great of you and your husband by the way.  Thankfully I do not have to deal with the foster system for my situation.  Not saying the foster system is bad; but the heart warming experience becomes so intrusive and impersonal.

Posted by Lady Riché on Nov 27, 2019 at 5:05pm

I know you didn’t ask this, but as an FFY and re-homed adoptee I think I have to bring some things up anyway. Feel free to ignore.
This woman is 6 weeks pregnant? There is a long way from 6 weeks, when you just find put you are pregnant, til when you give birth. Lots can, and for her certainly will, change. Are you prepared to support her during the pregnancy even if she decides not to surrender the baby to her?
Have you considered how the child will feel knowing that his/her mom kept the sibling but not him/her? How will the child feel knowing that he/she was given away, and yes that is how the child will feel at times no matter how it is couched in loving conversations, because you and your husband could not have your own child?
How are you planning to deal with a family situation in which a child is legally yours but naturally the child of this mother, and has a sibling? Are you planning on going through family therapy together to work it out or just wing it?
Will this child know that his/her “aunt” is really his mother? How will you deal with it when the child gets older (they do)?
You’re asking about legal options and they are pretty straightforward, but the emotional complications of a family member adopting, rather than serving as a guardian of, a family member’s child are long-lasting.
Assuming that this woman, who has only just found out she is pregnant, will at the end of term and after birth still decide she wants you to be the adoptive parents of her child, when it happens within a family there are huge implications for the child.
Please look at some sites that aren’t about parents, but are the voices of adoptees.

Posted by NoraT on Dec 01, 2019 at 11:34pm

I would go back and read some of the postings in the kinship adoption group on this site.  That may give you some insight into the specific issues families have faced.  Several posters have noted that extended family sometimes “take sides”, or refuse to acknowledge the adoptive parents as parents vs aunts and uncles.

Posted by jszmom on Dec 06, 2019 at 4:22pm

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