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Adoption Group: Open Adoption Families

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Open Adoption Families

Open Adoption Families

For anyone participating in open adoptions.

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  • RachyS
    Trouble in Paradise

    We have a 1 year-old daughter and were matched with the family when BM was 5 months pregnant.  It was a challenging relationship from the start as BM has many…

  • NancyD
    Explaining adoption to child too young to know where babies come from!

    Does anyone have suggestions on explaining adoption to a young child? We have an open, though long distance, relationship with our 3 year old son’s birth mom and we’ve always…

  • Mom4
    Looking ahead --What to do?

    So this is my first time posting to this group, and I hope that I am able to get some positive helpful feedback. Our situation was “very unique” in our area for a Foster/Adoptive situation. There was a birth mother that voluntarily surrendered a baby“now our son“to DSS. She really ran the show with regards to the fact that the whole thing was voluntary. Our DSS office and case workers were all young first timers“and the department head had said that she didn’t know of any other case that was presented like this. BM wouldn’t sign the surrender documents without conditions. She stipulated that she wanted 2 visits a year mandatory“no matter what. We were advised to go along with this, as it really was in the best interest of our son, and that we could always go back to court to change things in the future. BM has OCD and other anxiety disorders and during our foster interactions with her she would say “this is the hardest thing I had to do, I love him so much, I miss “my son” so much.””-however she never asked to see him, and she only has seen him 2 times in the last year (including leaving the hospital). The adoption was finalized on Sept. 8 and he will be 1 year old on Saturday. We heard from the BM right before Halloween, and she was calling to see if she could send him some presents. We said to do what she felt comfortable with. We are so conflicted with what to do about contact with her. She will say one thing, but do another. (Case in point, he had to go to the hospital at 2 weeks old for x-rays for possible bowel obstruction. DSS contacted her, and she claimed she was so concerned”-however she never came to the hospital, and actually let her cell phone run out of minutes without letting anyone know. She couldn’t be reached until the next day afternoon.) These types of things have happened for the last year. Part of me wishes that we could decide if there was contact, or better yet, let our son decided when he is older, but we cannot. We are bound by court order to have her visit him 2 times a year. We love our son, and want the best for him. As his birthday is 2 days away we have not gotten a card or gift, and don’t know if we will. Who knows what will happen for Christmas. Any thoughts would be great“Thanks

  • bklvr
    Open relationship with birth parents who are incarcerated?

    Hi everyone - Does anyone in this group have an adopted child whose birth parents are incarcerated?  We were very recently (and very quickly) matched with a birthmom who is…

  • RNfostermom
    open adoption: blogging

    Hi everyone, In August I adopted the foster daughter I had since 5 weeks old. We had no contact with biological relatives in all of that time (birth mom moved…

  • love4adoption
    placement day

    we are coming up on the year anniversary of when our daughter was placed with us. I wanted to get any opinions of celebrating that day, and if you do…

  • Celticautumn74
    Grandparents visitation schedule

    My husband and I are in the process of adopting a child we have had since she was 7 weeks old. She is now 14 months and her maternal grandparents…

  • threewaystobaby
    Dear Birth Mother

    A letter to my daughter’s Birth Mother

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