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Conflicted Emotions
Posted: 25 May 2010 08:58 PM   Ignore ]  
Total Posts:  5
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this is my first post here. that, in and of itself, feels kinda momentous. wow…i feel like i could write pages….pages about our own journey….pages in response the honest and brave things everyone else has posted.

we’ve been married for over 7 years…5 1/2 of those years, we’ve been tryin to get pregnant. we’ve gone to doctors, had a failed fertility tx, and still were never given a real diagnosis…it’s been a string of “well, everything looks more or less okay, it should work/we don’t know why it’s not working.” possibly the least helpful information we could be given. we’ve talked about adoption on and off for almost two years…then a few months ago, one of those friend-of-a-friend things came our way, and a very brave young woman wanted to give us her baby. long story short, that fell through. about a month ago, we decided we just needed to pursue adoption…some way, somehow…we need to have a family. yesterday, my husband and i had an interview w/the adoption agency and are now waitin for the social worker to call to set up an appt for the home study.

it’s crazy how some people give you more room to be honest than others…. very well-meaning friends say things like “if you still want to get pregnant, why not try another doctor? try another tx?” they ask things like that b/c they don’t know the devastation of countless negative pregnancy tests…or the toll it takes havin tests run and instruments probed here and there….to have your heart begin to hope for a few days…only for the waves to crash down yet again when you find you’re not pregnant.

even though we’re only in the very beginning stages of adoption, i keep findin that i’m surprised by the tumult of emotion still in me. i thought that so much of the weight and grief would fade away once we finally made the decision about which agency we’d use…but it didn’t. yesterday went so well. the agency we’re usin is run by a woman who has adopted two little girls herself…“adoption isn’t just a business here. we take it very personally.” our meeting w/this kind woman was encouraging and assuring and hopeful (words we haven’t used in a long, long time). we left grateful and glad…and then i wake up this mornin and find myself in tears w/in just a couple hours. again. more tears. we’ve now committed to an agency, but the weight and grief are here, too. i oscillate b/w sad and mad….and knowin that it’ll all be worth it when have our baby in our arms.

thank you….to everyone who posts here and to the magazine…for makin this kind of conversation possible….for those of us who live in small, rural towns, support groups are few and far b/w….readin others’ stories, others’ honesty helps brace this rickety floor beneath my heart…helps remind me we’re not the only ones on this road…i’m not the only one feelin this way.

Posted: 25 May 2010 09:56 PM   Ignore ]  
Total Posts:  2
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First of all, good luck with the adoption process! Hang in there the end result will be worth the roller coaster ride you have been on and unfortunately will continue through out the adoption process. We have been trying to adopt for over 3 years. It finally happened! In my mind, nothing could have prepared me for the heart breaks that take place in life and in trying to adopt. It is not easy. Please be sure you have chosen the right adoption agency for you before you put down a lot of money for home studies, etc. Know you are not alone. This website has helped me so much in the past couple of months. I wish I knew about it before and while I was trying to adopt. It is very helpful!

Posted: 29 May 2010 02:41 PM   Ignore ]  
Total Posts:  4
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You are definitely not alone. I can relate to the roller coaster of emotions that come with countless failed fertility treatments, including several failed IVFs’. When my husband and I decided to adopt, we were emotionally and financially drained. We spent the first 12 years of our marriage as a childless couple. We were actively trying to get pregnant for at least 10 of those years. Don’t despair and keep your options open. We adopted through foster/adopt. We were matched with a beautiful little babygirl that was just 3 weeks old. I can honestly say that I always knew in my heart that I would love being a parent, but there are no words to describe the love I have for my little angel. Your little angel is on the way. You will be an awesome mother. Keep the faith. One day, your tears of sadness will be tears of joy when you look upon the face of your little one that was always meant to be yours!

Posted: 02 March 2014 04:27 AM   Ignore ]  
Total Posts:  1
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My husband and I are desperate to have a family of our own but we are running out of time & options PLEASE help us!!!

http://www.gofundme.com/7864pg

Posted: 30 May 2014 06:31 AM   Ignore ]  
Total Posts:  1
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Posted: 08 July 2014 09:36 AM   Ignore ]  
Total Posts:  1
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The five stages of acceptance leading to the adoption of the first child

By Ronit Redlich author of “A Practical Guied for Adoptive Parents”


The decision to adopt a child usually comes after years of failed attempts at birth of a biological child and when there is an inability to complete a natural birth. The acceptance of this situation does not occur all at once but rather in stages and even in cycles.


Stage I:
Denial Stage – This is not happening to us; soon, the problem will be solved; it is only a matter of time.


Stage II:
Anger, Depression and Bitterness Stage – Why is this happening to us? Why us?


Stage III:
Battle and Determination Stage – We will do everything to get out of this situation. We will consult all the expert doctors, go to all possible treatments, muster all our strength, and we will not surrender to the stubborn body that refuses to bring the fruit to the world.


Stage IV:
Admission Stage – We have a problem, and we cannot solve it through conventional ways, so we should start looking for alternative ways.


Stage V - Acceptance Stage – There is another way to be parents. We can also adopt children.


Sometimes, there is regression from the Admission Stage to the Battle Stage, but the will to fight slowly fades and the decision to adopt a baby or older child sets in. When it comes to parents, sometimes there is not an agreement between the spouses regarding adoption; one insists on continuing reproductive therapy while the other is fed up with the treatments and is willing to accept the adopted child as their biological child.
Thus, it is important that both spouses completely accept adoption before making the decision.[/size][/size]

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