“If Only I Could Just” gives a glimpse of the anguish an adoptive mother feels as she slowly discovers her child is likely struggling with developmental delays.

What are your fears about adopting a child who wasn’t healthy? Most adoptive parents have to check off whether they would be willing to adopt a child who was special needs, but there are many special needs that are not identifiable at birth of during pregnancy. How much of that concern plays into the decision to adopt?

See? I told you I would stalk, er, I mean, follow you.

I am so grateful that I have followed your story. You educated me on what to expect and look for and ask with IVF and now I feel like you have prepared me for the journey that we are embarking on: US newborn adoption.

A month ago out of the blue, we were thrown into an adoption situation and through the whirlwind that it has been (home study done in two weeks time, a birthmom who is due any day now and is coming off as a bit sketchy), once again I feel like I owe you a huge thanks because in the back of my mind I’ve thought of you and your journey and felt relatively prepared with what to expect, look for and ask.

So once again - thank you, Jenna. I know you’ve had a rough road but there has definitely been some good to come out of your journey - besides your beautiful daughters of course, but that goes without saying!

(((hugs)))
Carrie

Our issue wasn’t developmental but physical health issues.  We found at six weeks old that our first child we were in the process of adopting was a carrier for Sickle Cell Anemia. We were going back for a re-test as the doctor truly felt he had it but we never got that chance.  The birthmother changed her mind and he went back to her.  In our hearts, he was already our child and we loved him no matter what his health issues may have been.

This was one of our considerations. We were worried that we might be blindsided by a medical issue. But when we learned that children adopted through foster care generally have access to Medicaid throughout their childhood, even after they’ve been adopted, that strengthened our desire to adopt through the US foster care system. It made us more willing to “take a risk” and adopt a child who might need extra care.

How do you all feel about a special needs child that will likely need assistance as an adult?  We are only in the very beginning stages of this entire process…there are still lots of questions, fears, and concerns.  It’s such a huge decision.  I guess I would just like another’s thoughts on caring for a child that will need some kind of lifelong care.  I’m not even sure how to go about that! 

Thank you!