Sign In to Add a Forum Post

NOTE: These forums exist for archival purposes only.
Please post any new, active discussion topics to the most appropriate corresponding adoption group

 
1 of 2
1
Disability?
Posted: 09 October 2009 08:45 AM   Ignore ]  
Total Posts:  2
Rank

Hi Everyone!

Ok what if you have a mental disability? I don’t mean something you are born with that is serious. I mean something such as PTSD, Anxiety, Depression, etc. Along those lines. What would someone with those problems be ready to encounter on the path to adopting a newborn? It is kinda late right now so I hope I got my question across. smile

Lady MoonWater

Posted: 09 October 2009 07:32 PM   Ignore ]  
Total Posts:  3
Rank

You’re referring to the prospective adoptive parent, correct? If so, my opinion is that this isn’t a one-size-fits-all answer. It depends on how severe the condition is. For example, severe depression can be very debilitating. Mild depression - especially if it’s situational (due to infertility struggles, for example) and not something that’s not been a constant throughout one’s life - is probably okay.

I do think, however, that the only person who can really answer this is a person’s psychologist/psychiatrist. I’ve been seeing one for about a month because my PCP suspected I had clinical depression (and not ADD like I thought). Turns out my PCP was right. Fortunately, my psychiatrist says mine is mild to moderate and she doesn’t feel there’s any reason for me to put adoption on hold. However, if she told me I needed to wait, I would definitely listen to her…as hard as that would be.

Being mentally and emotionally healthy is so important. Especially when there are children involved or the potential for them to be involved. I’ve heard many times that parents take much better care of their children and families when they take care of themselves too. (Makeover shows are a guilty pleasure of mine! LOL)

Do that and the rest will fall into place. Perhaps not in the timeframe you want, but it will. Take care!

Posted: 10 October 2009 03:54 AM   Ignore ]  
Total Posts:  43
Rank

Hi if you are wondering about how agencies may receive the info about a mental issue this is what I have learned. International Adoption makes the biggest deal of it. I believe China, and maybe Korea say they don’t allow it. BUT my friend adopted from China and he agency (Spence-Chapin) was VERY grueling about that part of their application, they had a separate extra meeting and needed some extra drs notes and stuff. And they were able to adopt, I think Spence needed a lot of info to push it through. (He is actually very good, has done years of therapy and remains on 1 anti-depressant and is doing very well, so they went to bat for him because they knew he had overcome his issues. With private adoption it will just be the social worker who does your homestudy who will want to know that you have resolved these issues, they are actually often impressed if you have had something in your life that you can demonstrate that you have over come. Be up front about it from the start with any route you take. Don’t be discouraged either, one agency might turn you down and one may be totally fine about it. Good luck!!

Posted: 11 October 2009 05:19 AM   Ignore ]  
Total Posts:  2
Rank

Thank you so much! This is wonderful information. I am still dealing with it but it is controled by medication. My depression is only a little anoying now instead of overwhelming like it was 7 or so years ago! Please if anyone else has a comment about this subject I would like to hear it. Every bit helps!

Lady MoonWater

Posted: 12 October 2009 06:33 PM   Ignore ]  
Total Posts:  15
Rank

You can definitely adopt, but your diagnosis may limit your options a bit. For example, China prohibits prospective parents with certain mental disorders who are currently taking medication. (Read the full text of the guidelines on the AF site here: http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/articles.php?aid=891.) You should disclose your condition to your social worker up front. He or she will probably want to speak with your doctor and/or receive a letter stating that you are capable of parenting a child.

AF published a personal essay written by a woman who adopted shortly after receiving a diagnosis for bipolar disorder. Read “Motherhood in the Balance” here: http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/articles.php?aid=992.

Posted: 04 February 2010 02:24 AM   Ignore ]  
Total Posts:  1
Rank

As someone who has had clinical depression in her life since she was 19,  I found that my choices for International adoption where quite limited due to my history of depression and the fact that I continue to take medication for my condition.  I found it nonsensical that some countries would consider you if you were no longer taking medication.  How in the world would you be a good parent if you needed meds but stopped taking them?  I try to consider the position of the other countries wanting the best for their children, wanting healthy parents with normal life expectancies, etc.  This is all very valid, but some countries have a rather antiquated view of people who actually seek help for mental illnesses.  Invariably someone on some forum or even an adoption agency will tell you that “X number of children from Y country died due to abuse from parents who had schizophrenia, bi-polar disorder or depression.”  I often wonder if, god forbid, any kids have ever died from abuse by parents who did not have a mental illness?  Would that be brought so prominently forward?  One agency I spoke to was very solicitous at first contact, but when I told them about my depression they acted if I had just said that I was a child molester, and told me that any international adoption would be extremely difficult for me.  i.e they didn’t want to work with me.

The key is finding an agency who will work with you.  Those agencies generally have excellent in country staff and have a feel for the process and if applicable, the actual officials in country so they know not only which countries would allow you to adopt, but from which region.  I have had agencies tell me out-and-out that none of the countries that they work with allow adoption by people with depression, even if it’s well controlled, as mine and yours appears to be.  That was a complete lie.  I found an agency that has been extremely supportive and works with several of those countries that supposedly I couldn’t adopt from.

Of course all of this could be moot if you’re considering adopting domestically, which I hear can be easier. smile

Don’t listen to people that tell you that you can’t adopt.  You CAN adopt, your choices might just be limited.  With a positive letter from your doctor saying that you are stable and capable of adopting an adoptive child, you shouldn’t have any problems.  If you are considering adopting internationally and you’d like info about our agency, then send me a PM.  I’d be happy to share the information.

Sorry for the long post! red face

 
1 of 2
1