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The Pregnancy Analogy
Posted: 06 October 2009 03:46 PM   Ignore ]  
Total Posts:  6
Rank

I enjoyed the analogy. Thanks for the article.

Posted: 07 October 2009 11:04 PM   Ignore ]  
Total Posts:  6
Rank

From dictionary.com

analogy - Similarity in some respects between things that are otherwise dissimilar.

Are there similarities between the adoption process and pregnancy? Of course there are.

Does anybody think they are the exact same thing? Of course not, and nobody has said so.

Posted: 07 October 2009 11:10 PM   Ignore ]  
Total Posts:  6
Rank

Darn, wish I would have seen this before I posted, also from dictionary.com

analogy - A comparison of two different things that are alike in some way (see metaphor and simile). An analogy attributed to Samuel Johnson is: “Dictionaries are like watches; the worst is better than none, and the best cannot be expected to go quite true.”

If Samuel Jackson is on your side, then you know things are going well.

Posted: 08 October 2009 03:16 PM   Ignore ]  
Total Posts:  3
Rank

I don’t see where comparisons have to be made at all. I believe it stems from the the fact that expecting a child through pregnancy is not the same thing as expecting a child through adoption and the adoptive parent in waiting does not receive the same attention, care, concern or acknowledgment as someone who is pregnant.  There are vast differences and there are also similiarities.  As an adoptive parent waiting to be matched I WANT to be acknowledged. I want questions about our adoptive plans. I want coworkers, family and friends to be excited for me.  I want someone to ask “how are you feeling?” and know they are asking because I am an “expectant mother”.  When using terms like “paper pregnant” we are actually seeking that acknowledgement and demanding a place in the Expectant Mothers Club.  While I wouldn’t park in the expectant mothers’ parking spaces at work (we have three!) I grumble internally when I see them and have to pass them up.  But the reality is that they exist for those with a physcial condition that might make walking from a far away parking space more tiring, hazadarous, or difficult than it would for the rest of the population. Just as handicapped parking exists for simliar reasons.
On another note; I am reminded of something I wanted to do this week and maybe you guys can help. I am going to start an email writing campaign to the major retailers that have baby and wedding registries and ask them to consider adoptive parent registries for those adopting older children.  What do you think?

Posted: 08 October 2009 05:13 PM   Ignore ]  
Total Posts:  112
RankRank

When I wrote this article I meant is only as an Analogy - obviously adoption is not the same as pregnancy.  But I have found over the years that using this type of analogy for some people is very helpful.  When explaining the complicated process of adoption to friends and family, using this analogy makes the process easier for people to understand.  Also, this analogy helps bring some normalcy to those I know who enter adoption from infertility.  For a long time these infertile couples have been struggling to achieve a successful pregnancy.  They are happy to be adopting but are still mourning the loss of experiencing a pregnancy.  This analogy can be used to show them that they ARE going through a pregnancy - just an adoption one.  Yes, it’s different but a lot of the emotions can be related to those who have been through a pregnancy.  In my years of leading a monthly support group for those entering adoption, most people like this analogy and are grateful that it makes them feel more like all of their friends who were pregnant.

Posted: 10 October 2009 02:59 AM   Ignore ]  
Total Posts:  5
Rank

I’m sorry, but I just don’t “get it”.  For me “paper pregnancy” is putting a bandage on the pain of infertility and not dealing with the grief.  Adoption is not simulating pregnancy.  For me, it is making a completely different alternative family choice without cutsie terminology to suggest that I have borne a child.  I find it insulting and dismissive to people who have come to terms with their infertility.  Just my humble opinion/experience.

Posted: 10 October 2009 03:38 AM   Ignore ]  
Total Posts:  1
Rank

Not all adoptive parents are grieving over infertility.  We chose to adopt rather than give birth.  Expectant mothers are expectant mothers are expectant mothers.

 
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