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The Pregnancy Analogy
Posted: 10 October 2009 06:43 AM   Ignore ]  
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It would seem to me that everyone would know that adopting a baby and being pregnant are two different things.  However, you are both expecting a baby and should be able to expierence all the joy and fear and excitement that may bring. I never said that I was paper pregnant but I did say that I was an expectant mother but if you want to say you are paper pregnant (or whatever) that is your right and NO ONE should take that away from you even if they don’t like the term. 

I would hope that anyone that has dealt with infertilty before adopting had mourned it and moved past it and was not putting a bandage over it. I don’t think using a certain term for adopting means that you are doing so.

Posted: 02 November 2009 04:15 AM   Ignore ]  
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I proudly wore and wear a shirt because we are expecting a 2nd baby anytime now that reads, “pregnant on paper”. My husband and I went through infertility and then moved on with our lives. We did not allow ourselves to become consumed with infertility during those days of IVF and medications. But I must say, that when we decided to stop and move on with our plans to have children, I kissed those feelings goodbye and have never looked back! When I wear that shirt, it is saying to the world that I am SO EXCITED to be in the process of adopting a child. To me, this is a fun, simple and physical way to share my news of expecting with my friends and whoever I see that day. I love the reactions and the questions that I get, because like most pregnant women, I am excited to talk about my experience, my feelings and my journey to my baby. It has nothing to do with putting a bandage on lost hopes and dreams. It has everything to do with celebrating and anticipating the arrival of our child.

Posted: 02 November 2009 09:00 PM   Ignore ]  
Total Posts:  13
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I had a “Paperwork Pregnant” tank I loved to wear and later, it changed to an “Adopting.Still” shirt from http://www.adoptionmama.com smile Now, I’m shopping for a “Hi, My name is MOM” shirt, since we adopted 3 months ago! Best wishes to all adopting parents!

Jamesandtiffanyadopt
http://www.wedreambig.shutterfly.com

Posted: 25 November 2009 01:18 AM   Ignore ]  
Total Posts:  31
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I would have to agree with drew2008.

Analogies are often utilized to help explain or express ideas or experiences.  I don’t think drawing comparisons between a pregnancy and an adoption journey indicates that the person offering the analogy is ‘not over’ his/her infertility (should infertility precede an adoption journey). Essentially the pregnancy/adoption journey analogy is a tool to help describe the adoption waiting process, in positive terms, so that those unfamiliar with the waiting process might better understand.

Those who have been/are there know that the wait to adopt can at times seem both endless and joyless. So if this analogy happens to make the ‘waiting-to-adopt’ parent feel hopeful and positive during an often complex and emotionally difficult experience, more power to ‘em.

Posted: 13 January 2010 12:49 AM   Ignore ]  
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Having only experienced adoption, I would say the analogy is useful and clever, although obviously not perfect. One exception, I wouldn’t call a failed match a “false labor”. I would liken it more to a miscarriage because you get attached to the idea of this child, with this birthmother and this due date. You plan for maternity leave, you decorate the nursery, purchase the essentials, and then BAM - no baby. Or worse, you take the baby home only to have the birthparents change their mind.

I think that sort of pain cannot be likened to false labor, which leads to a healthy baby a few days or weeks later. I think that sort of pain is more similar to a miscarriage and the act of gathering up the courage to “try again”.

 
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