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We’ve Been Matched, But “Have Not Met Our Match.” Now What?!?
Posted: 21 February 2011 05:45 PM   Ignore ]  
Total Posts:  2
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We’ve been matched but we have not met our match. smile

Last week we had a meeting with the 12 yr old. boy’s case worker and read his complete file. Nothing jumped out at us so we told her we are still interested and asked about the next step.

Next week we have a meeting with the boy’s case worker, her boss, the boy’s counselor, attorney ad-litem and his foster parents, our case worker from the agency we’re going through and us. This will be our chance to ask ANY questions we want to ask.

What questions did you ask or wish you had of asked at that time? All sharing is appreciated. Our list is growing but we want to see if there may be questions others have thought about that have not even registered with us. More heads are better than two that are not experienced with this process yet. smile

After the meeting if all is still a go and we do not see a reason otherwise at this point we will then meet our match and go from there. Possible placement being as soon as April or May.

Thanks in advance! We’re very excited and looking forward to our next baby step in this long process.

Still waiting in TX

Posted: 25 February 2011 08:38 AM   Ignore ]  
Total Posts:  1
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Hello—we were foster parents in CA for five years, and ended up adopting 7-year-old twins, who are now about to turn 9.  We have just completed a new home study in our new state, Ohio, and hope to be matched with a sib group of children between the ages of 8 and 17 sometime within the next couple of months.  First, let me say congratulations—we think adopting from the foster system is a wonderful way to make a family and are enjoying our experience very much.  So many people focus on babies and toddlers and overlook the older children, who need loving, permanent families just as much as the younger kids. 

As to what info you want, the short answer is “everything”!  You want to know the history of the birth parents and why the child had to go into the foster-care system; medical history and current medical issues (if any); any psychological evaluations and resulting diagnoses such as conduct disorder, ODD, etc.; how many foster homes has the child been in and if there have been more than one, what were the circumstances for the child having to be moved to another home; have their been any previous adoption disruptions, and if so, why was that adoption attempt unsuccessful; how is he doing in school and is there an IEP in place;  hobbies and interests; his attitude toward being adopted; are there any bio-family members with whom he wants to maintain contact.  I am a Buddhist, so religion can be an important factor to discuss—some kids have a strong affiliation with a particular church or denomination that they want to maintain. 

Hope this has been helpful, and again, congratulations!

Posted: 25 February 2011 04:22 PM   Ignore ]  
Total Posts:  2
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Thanking you so much for the thoughts on what to ask.  After checking our growing list I feel good that we had covered all of that considering this is our first time through this process. After much thought & prayer we are going on to the next step. :o) We will meet our match next weekend and are so excited AND nervous!! Our one and only biological is grown and has her own family. Getting back into the Momma & Daddy game will be a whole new learning experience for us but we are more than game for it.

I agree about older kids in foster care. What prompted my husband and I to start talking about adopting was watching shows that were about kids aging out of foster care and the show spent a lot of time talking to the older kids and both of us were a puddle of tears after that. We had never thought of that avenue. I had not been able to have any more children for whatever reason and never sought medical tactics to “make” it happen. I felt that some women were born to have babies and the rest of us were born to help mother them. :o) We are looking so forward to this placement and it just feels right.

WOW! Twins! Congratulations to having them in your life and best wishes on the new process for the coming kiddos. Wishing you a smooth ride on this next journey.

We will keep this list of questions knowing now how important they will be for any of our future journeys. We had tried for sibling groups but none had panned out here. When we decided to start looking at singles as well after learning that we can adopt another one within the next year if all goes as smoothly for this adoption and settling in. We were hoping for 2-3 kiddos. We also asked how they thought this child would view a younger or older brother down the road and they all agreed that once he is settled and secure in his new forever home that all will go ok.

Again thank you for sharing and best wishes to you. :o)

Take care!

Plano CJ