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Differing levels of contact
Posted: 05 October 2009 04:37 PM   Ignore ]  
Total Posts:  7

MomofGirls recent comment ( made me wonder this:

What are the challenges and how do you handle them when your children have different levels of contact with their firstparents? Any tips?

Lori Holden
Blog: (
Book: The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption: Helping Your Child Grow Up Whole (

Posted: 14 October 2009 04:14 PM   Ignore ]  
Total Posts:  8

We have had this come up a bit.  We first visited Avery’s birthparents when she was 2 months old.  Cora had just turned 4 and it was the first time she had met them, but she had seen pictures.  Cora knows her birthmom and we have visited a few times.  Cora’s birthfather has never been involved and has chosen to not be involved.

We visited Cora’s birthmom about the same time.  Cora started asking where her birthfather was, since she had met Avery’s.  We told her we did not know and that we could try to contact him through the agency if she wanted us to.  She also asked her birthmom where he was.  She did not know either, but said she would ask around to see if anyone knew.  Cora seemed a little disappointed, but hasn’t asked about it sense.  We don’t have any info about him, except his name.

I’m sure this will come up again at some point.  Not sure how we will handle it.  It would be nice for her to at least meet him or have contact info so she can decide whether to contact him later.  And it would be nice to have that half of her medical history.

Posted: 18 November 2010 07:33 AM   Ignore ]  
Total Posts:  4

I appreciate this thread. We have 2 daughters. One we have contact with through, which is great, but for our other daughter, we have not had any contact with her birth mother. We have had a few emails from her birth grandma, but very little and I dread when the questions start coming about why she has so little information and her sister has so much. I will keep an eye on this thread to see others suggestion. Thank you, great subject.