I’m hoping for some insight. We are moving on from all of the infertility disappointments slowly. We are both older, 45 and 50. As we spent so much money on infertility, we decided to try the state foster to adopt system. We felt most comfortable with infant through 6 years old or so. After the classes and homestudy we were asked to be on the emergency-respite care list. We were called for our first temporary foster child. He is a 12 year old boy in the 6th grade. After listening to many horror stories during the classes, we feel he is doing very well, some hygiene issues, but very good natured, eats well and tries most everything. His father died a year and a half ago, mother has many issues. She is trying for reunification and they still have supervised visits. He craves my husband’s attentions and they do lots of outside activities together. He confines in me and is very nice to me….. but I know I am not the mom that he is still hoping for. We have since been saving money again, and thought international adoption would be different.
My question for people who have done this before and have gone on to adopt, is this what adoption will be like too? Will I ever be the mom they are looking for or will they always want to “go home” to their mom?
Thank you for your help and understanding.