Hi all, I am delighted to see a section just for us….people pursuing domestic adoption and enduring the awful WAIT.

My DH and I have been advertising since Feb 2008. We have had 3 very close calls but something always happens…....they decided to keep the baby, after starting paperwork with our lawyer, they just stopped calling us back, or they told us they picked someone else. Then there are all the little nibbles, we talk once after they see our profile then they stop returning calls, etc., etc.

We have been TTC since 2003 when we married at age 40 (me) and 36 (DH). We did 7 IVFs, etc. from ‘03 to ‘06. The DX was me being 40. We suffered through 1 m/c from our only BFP, and that resulted in Ashermans’s Syndrome (scarring of the uterus that occurs esp after D+C after m/c). We even had surgery to fix the Ashermans but my lining just never thickened enuf again. A real tragedy as I produced a lot of eggs, etc. Well the real tragedy was the Ashermans whichwas from the 1st IVF where I got pregnant (then only one where I got pregnant.) So we did 4 more IVFs, basically placing embies in a scarred uturus. You can’t see the scarring in an u/s. I had to switch REs and the new RE ordered an HSG since she suspected Ashermans and that is the only way to see it. In ‘06 we ended treatment completely burnt out and beaten down and explored adoption, found our lawyer and started the NY certification process which includes the homestudy.

That is our story in a nutshell. We are so weary by both the IF and adoption. Yet we are trying to do all the adoption things we can do and have not, namely: make an adoption business card, networking letter and website. We have worked hard on our profile and advertising. I am also going to redesign our profile since we got very good advice from an Adoptive Parents Committee meeting to make it less wordy, shorter (it’s 14 pp) and also to break it up in sections like “Our Home” “About Us” etc. so that it’s not just endless flowing text.

Can’t wait to meet other waiters!

Hi babydreams. It sounds like you got some great advice regarding your profile. My wife and I adopted twice and had a 7 month and 4 month wait from approval to placement. I know our profile played a big part (as did our agency and our own outreach efforts) so it is definitely a great place to visit and revisit during the journey.

My advice - Make your profile as easy and interesting to read as possible. Be creative! Your profile is more important than the agency or attorney you choose and the amount of outreach you do because if expectant parents find your profile through the professionals or your own efforts and the profile does not communicate what you want, then things usually do not work out.

Think about an expectant parent having to read a stack of them. After awhile if one just sounds like another then they are not serving their intended purpose. In fact, what I tell people is to find profiles online and read 10-15 all one after the other and then read yours. If your profile sounds just like the others, keep working on it.

Good luck!

Thanks Hal, great advice. Do you think I should do the same thing regarding our ad? It’s very generic, tho’ they all tend to be…

Not as important in my opinion, but still somewhat important. May depend on what type of ad you are talking about: Classified (online or paper)? Google Adwords? The more similar ads in one place the more you want to be recognized. Nothing beats the right profile though.

Thanks, I mean classified ads, mostly in the paper. We are just starting to do online and build a website. I just finished designing our business cards so while it’s being printed you have inspired me to go full-force with a new profile.

I’m curious what one does with business cards when it comes to adoption?

Business/Adoption cards play 2 roles. First, you can give them to people you network with so they remember your contact info should they ever hear of expectant parents considering adoption. The second way to use them is to leave them in places where expectant parents considering adoption or their network might find them. For example, you can pin them to bulletin boards in grocery stores, Starbucks, apartment buildings, college campus buildings, etc.

Your advice has been very helpful.  Should adopotion business cards include a picture?  Do you have a template or is there a place where samples can be located.  What information do you include?

Hi Babydreams—I think shortening and refreshing your profile sounds like a good idea. As My Adoption Advisor said, you do want something that will make it stand out from the stack. You’ll find lots of other great tips in the AF article, “Tips for Writing the Family Profile” (http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/articles.php?aid=1328), including some really illuminating quotes from birthmothers. The author adopted twice, and has had two very short waits (one week, in the case of her first adoption). Best of luck to you as you revise your profile, and let us know what happens as you continue to pursue your dreams of a baby!