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Posted: 24 January 2011 05:11 AM   Ignore ]  
Total Posts:  2
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I feel that those who are adverse to open adoptions have something to hide.  I realize that there may be a sense of insecurity when it comes to dealing with the “birth” family, however you should not feel so afraid.  I think that everyone needs to be concerned with the welfare of the child NOT themselves.  Consider it a selfless act.  This child can never have too much love.

Posted: 24 January 2011 03:11 PM   Ignore ]  
Total Posts:  26
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Lovingmom412, please clarify your opening statement. The OP was simply relating some uneasiness she has with the “idea” of an open adoption, a sentiment I read a lot here on AFC, that many people seem to have had before they adopted their first child. Most seem to change their minds after the fact and enjoy their open adoptions, but it’s not hard to find stories of open adoptions that turn problematic, and those might be enough to give a prospective parent pause. Statements insinuating that they have “something to hide” are probably not helpful to someone researching domestic adoption.

Posted: 30 January 2011 02:17 AM   Ignore ]  
Total Posts:  2
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I did not realize my comment was insinuating anything.  I was not trying to come across as condescending,  by “something to hide” I meant from the child.  Fearing open adoption makes it seem like it is a dirty and shameful thing, which it certainly is not.  While I feel that there should, by all means, be boundaries set, it should not be viewed strictly from the adoptive parents point of view.  I have developed a bond with my child and would certainly not want to lose that because I am unable to raise him or her.  I am still VERY much in love with my child.  I also believe that it does “take a village” and there is no such as too many people to love.

I read all of the tragic stories associated with adoption (i.e. birth parents wanting custody) and it makes me heartsick for the adoptive parents.  However, as a potential “birth” mother, you must understand that this is not an easy decision.  I don’t think that I have it in my heart to be left in the dark about this child’s well-being. 

You make sacrifices for your child/ren,  even if it means that you are uncomfortable.  Understand that I am uncomfortable too.  Adoption comes with a slew of mixed emotions among the adults but the child’s emotions come first.  Ultimately, we need to work together out of love for this child.  Making selfless acts for your child’s welfare is a beautiful display of love.

 
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