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dealing with male infertility and desire to still get pregnant
Posted: 26 November 2010 07:45 PM   Ignore ]  
Total Posts:  1
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I’m so glad I just found this post.  We too are dealing with male infertility,  and I’m wishing that I too could be pregnant. It’s hard to find someone else that understands the complicated dynamics of male infertility.  I’m extremely fortunate in that my husband would totally support me if I wanted to find a sperm donor; I can’t handle the thought of it.  Blessings to all of you as you search for the right situation for both spouses, and kudos to you for working so hard to made decisions together!!  I keep trying to remember that my relationship with my husband is more important than my desire to be pregnant, and I hope that you all will find peace with the routes you choose to follow. Happy Thanksgiving and good luck whereever you are in the adoption process ( I’m in the hopelessly impatient stage…) .
Christin

Posted: 10 December 2010 08:13 PM   Ignore ]  
Total Posts:  1
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Being pregnant and adopting are not mutually exclusive!!!

I am 2 months pregnant through ADOPTION!! My husband was diagnosed sterile several years ago, and we could just not come to terms with sperm donation, yet I desired a pregnancy, so we participated in the Nightlight Christian Adoptions Snowflakes Embryo Adoption program.

We had to go through all of the normal adoption steps (home studies, etc.), and were matched with a genetic family who was looking for a good home for their frozen embryos.

We had a successful first round of IVF, and now I’m 8 weeks along!!

You can provide a home to a baby in need AND experience pregnancy at the same time. If I can answer any questions, let me know.

Best wishes to all of you.

Posted: 11 December 2010 02:46 AM   Ignore ]  
Total Posts:  16
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Ladies, have you seen the latest AF Circles email newsletter yet?  This topic and its comments is listed as 1 of their 6 “Best of the Blogs”.  Cool!  It just reinforces the great support and advice we offer each other.  I am so grateful for the support this specific topic has given me.  Thanks again to everyone who’s contributed.

Posted: 02 February 2011 07:50 PM   Ignore ]  
Total Posts:  2
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Hello,
So we were exactly where you are (were) My husband was diagnosed with male infertility anbout 6 months after we were married. We were both in shock because he has a daugher from a previous marriage. ( we are hoping she is his—there was cheating in the marraige) After much promting from me and our therapist. He fianally said ok. But we were not ever going to disclose. Which by the way is very taboo, I wish I could then say and we lived happilly ever after. But we tried it 2 times and unfortanately nieither worked. I am 40 now so we are going to adoption. I am in the greving process. Looking at pregnant woiman gets me angry because I think if he had sperm we prob would have gotten pregnant. We are now lookign into agencies and talking to people about their experience. My husband thinks I need to talk to someone about not getting pregnant because I jumped right on the adoption band wagon but I think I am ok.

Posted: 03 February 2011 08:05 AM   Ignore ]  
Total Posts:  16
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diane0001 - Your grief over not getting pregnant is real, this is a very real loss. From personal experience, my advice is to grieve this in a way that helps you - support group, therapy, whatever. And understand that adoption and infertility grief are separate. I’m in the adoption process and very joyful about it. I have also been grieving infertility for over 4 years now, and it may continue to some extent for the rest of my life. My experience has been that not allowing yourself to grieve can lead to resentment over the situation or toward your husband, etc. I wish you lots of peace and self-nurturing.

Posted: 22 February 2011 09:41 PM   Ignore ]  
Total Posts:  5
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I am so moved by how courageous you are to acknowledge your real feelings. I went through this process myself and now I am the blissfully happy (if exhausted) mom of four through adoption.  But I didn’t rush myself to adopt and my husband respected my feelings.  As it turned out, the timing was perfect when we did finally adopt.  And now we have absolutely no regrets to live with for the rest of our lives and pass onto our children. I can’t tell you how many people I know who run into big problems in their adoptions because, deep down, they were not ready to move on from infertility.
http://www.adoptiongoddess.com

Posted: 01 March 2011 04:53 PM   Ignore ]  
Total Posts:  8
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This blog is WONDERFUL!!! I am so glad to not be alone with this anymore! My husband is currently recovering from surgery where a doctor was doing a biopsy.  Thank God it was not cancer but in the process no sperm was discovered and our pregnancy hopes ended.  Neither one of us is interested in a doner.  I know it seems so selfish but I don’t want to miss the experience all my friends are having.  I want a child with my curly hair and his blue eyes.  I want a baby shower and strangers stopping me to say I am glowing and huge boobs.  Alas none of that is in my future and I need to grieve before I can move on.  I am sad and angry.  I don’t want to express myself in front of him and make him feel bad.  (I saw someone say a counslor specializing in infertility ... how do you find one of those?) I know we want to adopt and am trying to figure out this crazy complicated process.  I had a wonderful moment yesterday for the FIRST time when I told someone they didn’t say “aww ... I am so sorry” they said “how exciting and wonderful”  I want to get on board with that.  I want adoption to be my embraced choice not something I am a victim of.  I know I’ll get there and these forms are a great start!  I can feel the positivity!

 
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