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dealing with male infertility and desire to still get pregnant
Posted: 01 March 2011 05:57 PM   Ignore ]  
Total Posts:  12

Miscarriage and infertility are heartbreaking, it is important to grieve… and boy did we ever!  I felt the same way - wanting “our” child to have my husband’s green eyes, height and my hair.

Now its hard to imagine being any happier if my son was biologically ours.  I’ve been able (over time) to put my inability to have successful pregnancy in the same category as wishing I was 5’9” tall… would have been nice, but life is still great being 5’2”.

I don’t wish to make light of the pain.  Ours was so real, and we really sank into it for quite a while. But I’m so glad we did pull out of our funk… the adoption process requires strength and perhaps our experiences gave us what we needed. 

Best wishes,

Posted: 02 March 2011 12:49 AM   Ignore ]  
Total Posts:  16

@ SEAMEMORIES - my husband and I are both seeing individual counselors who specialize in infertility/adoption and we are also seeing a couple’s counselor who specializes in infertility/adoption/pregnancy options, etc.  She is a dream come true.  They all are.  When you search for a therapist/psychologist in your health insurances’ listing, you’ll see specialties listed.  If not, you can call each one (eek!) and ask if they have a specialty.  We were able to find our 3 specialists with very little problem, I wish you the same luck!

@ JUNOFOXTROT - you are so right - our experiences give us what we need!  Well put and great attitude.

My update since the first post way back when… my husband has made incredible strides in his therapy.  He is able to talk about his sterility, even brings it up nonchalantly.  Amazing how much acceptance and peace he now has around it.  AND he is encouraging me to try to conceive with donor sperm.  This blew my mind but shows how far he’s come.  I’m not sure if we’ll do it, but just him offering this melted my heart and made me feel like he understood my strong desire to experience pregnancy.  We are in couples’ counseling too, as I mentioned above.  It’s a great way to make sure we’re checking in with each other during our different stages of grief, as well as how we’re doing with the adoption wait.  Things couldn’t be better between us - what a difference from just a few months ago when everything felt so haywire.  Our experiences DO give us what we need.  Peace to us all.

Posted: 02 March 2011 02:10 AM   Ignore ]  
Total Posts:  5

I couldn’t agree with the last two posts more!  I too grieved infertility. It has been a long process. At times I thought I was over it.  And then it circled back again.  Now, as a mother of four through adoption, it’s hard to imagine my life any other way.  But it does take some doing to get there. Another adoptive mother once told me that if we rush to adoption before we are ready, it won’t be the perfect time for the child who is waiting for us.

Please feel free to go to my site and get some free information about transitioning from infertility to adoption.
Sending you good thoughts and encouragement…

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