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I am an adoptee who successfully searched for and found…and I would love to share my story!
Posted: 18 August 2010 06:32 AM   Ignore ]  
Total Posts:  2
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I would love to share my story so much, that I have done just that!  I wrote a book!  It’s called REUNIONS, and it is about growing up as an adopted kid in the 1960’s and 70’s.  I was the only adopted child in my circle of peers, family, neighbors and friends, and I tell ya…It was a VERY isolating feeling!  Adoption articles and lists of famous athletes and movie stars who were adopted were not common, so it really did make me feel freakish back in the day.  Being adopted was something I was hideously ashamed of.  It was very taboo to discuss.

It literally took falling in love and knowing that the only way we could progress in our relationship honestly would be for me to tell the guy about my worst kept secret. He’d either be a complete moron about it or a decent guy.
I told and he was decent….Very cool, in fact.  Cooler than cool could be. So after school / college, we got married!

In my adoption story, I share vignettes from my growing up experience with my adoptive family and how I embraced them as my roots, as they embraced me. However, they are a family…a very human family with flaws and rough spots, like all families. My story unfolds with me deciding as an independent adult to “come out” after living a 26 year lie to many friends and colleagues about my adoption, and at the same time, my adoptive parents are trudging through and learning to make their way with a damaged home life, due to other problems outside of my choice to search.

This is an exploration of family dynamics, a tale in child development from the adoptee’s POV during an era when less was accepted, less information was available, but social norms were being challenged in the time of free love, rock and roll and political unrest.  I tell the tale with honesty and humor, filled with pop culture and relatable stories and situations.

I hope this is a book that people here might want to read.

My manuscript is complete, and I am now shopping publishers / agents and trying to promote it myself on various websites.
I would love to know what you folks might think of this book concept.
My intention is NOT to totally promote the idea that adoption searches are all good and right.  Clearly, they are not the best choice for all people, especially while underage.  It’s a very personal and individual thing at any time in life. It just happened to work for me, and I admit it:  I got lucky.

A message I do want to share is that just because you are an adopted person, you are not a freak.  You are OK.  You are as “normal’ as anyone else. Just because you are adopted doesn’t mean you are too delicate or special to handle realities of life that non-adopted people deal with.  Adopted parents and birth parents, be prepared.  A search interest may or may not happen, but you never know.  The adoptee is not disloyal or unappreciative if they want to find out more. Not all birth parents are “bad” people who live wrong and get in trouble.  They are fine folks with feelings, ambitions and ideas just like everybody else.

I hope my “book baby” will one day be informative, entertaining and relatable for readers from many backgrounds and age groups: older teens through seniors, family interests / genealogy buffs, adoption triangle members, legal and social work professionals, teachers, psychs, and for sure readers familiar with my home town, (Cincinnati, Ohio) and who enjoy pop culture references from the 60’s-80’s.

P.

cool smile  P.

Posted: 13 February 2013 09:03 PM   Ignore ]  
Total Posts:  1
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Sorry you felt so isolated.  Was adoption a secret?  Was that the problem?  I couldn’t extract what the problem was.

Posted: 13 February 2013 09:55 PM   Ignore ]  
Total Posts:  2
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The problem was that I was the only adopted kid around, and I felt very left out. I didn’t know my heritage, and I had no answers to questions, (much) and I hated how different being adopted made me feel compared to “regular born” kids, including my younger brother.  I kept adoption a huge secret from everybody I knew because I was ashamed and embarrassed. It also helped me to forget the frustration I experienced from having no hope of knowing any past info about myself. During this time, my dad who raised me was under-going some personal turmoil of his own and was also trying to forget something. This began to wear him down and affect his behavior toward the family.  Both of our issues with identity and truth come to a parallelled boiling point at the same time.

I have also changed the title of this novel to AKIN TO THE TRUTH: A Memoir of Adoption and Identity.  I have two winning cover designs to work from and am still promoting the story.  It is professionally edited and will soon be ready for e-book formatting.

cool smile  P.