I know this is probably a common fear that has a million articles already written about it, but we can’t seem to get over it. We are terrified for our home-study appointment! We have a social worker that we love, and have just finished our foster care classes with the state. I have spent countless hours scrubbing down the house, setting up our nursery, and prepping our dogs for the children we hope to someday help. But no matter how many books I read, articles I highlight or calls to our agency, I can’t get the stress to stop. What if I forgot something from the inspection checklist? What if our dogs are too hyper for our inspector? What if the apartment is too small?  For any of you foster/adoptive parents out there, PLEASE share how you lived through the home-study experience! Any advice, both small and large, is appreciated.

It won’t be anywhere near as hard as you think. I remember being disappointed they didn’t check my closets, which were freshly organized for their visit!

You don’t have to be perfect. They just want to make certain you can provide a safe environment for children. Not that you are spotlessly clean!

I felt the same way, I think everyone does when your home is up for inspection by someone else!  Especially when your future child seems to resting on the inspection.  After I scrubbed and scrubbed, organized everything, locked everything and then some…..it was disappointingly QUICK and not nearly as thorough as I had anticipated.  How in the world could it be?  These poor people are SO overworked and so underpaid, they are just trying to get through their caseloads on a daily basis.  The woman was very pleasant and checked off her list, asked me some questions, asked to see my locked up medicines, household cleaners, gardening supplies, etc. and the first aid kit.  She tested my smoke alarms, walked around my backyard with me, checked the lock on my spa cover and that was about it.  I remember thinking “but wait, don’t you want to see how I scrubbed my shower???”  I’m sure you will be fine!  Unless something sticks out like a sore thumb or they recognize something as a red flag, you will sail through….

How can you NOT be nervous?  You are being inspected!  But as someone who was super-stressed as you are I before my first homestudy, I promise you it will not be a tenth as bad as you are anticipating.  Just be yourself.  As it was said, they just want to make sure you have a safe environment for your future child.  One of my friends easily passed her homestudy with a one bedroom apt.  They didn’t need tons of space.

With your house so clean, be sure to take pictures in case you need any for your adoption profile or for your agency!

As for the questions you’ll be asked, again just be yourself.  The social worker is not trying to “fail” you.  They are there to help you.  So if you don’t know an answer be honest.  If you are asked, “What type of discipline will you use?” and you and your husband are speechless b/c all you can think of is how to change a diaper - say so.  Ask, “What are some different types?” and the social worker may ask you what you were exposed to when you were a child.  Together you can all come up with an answer.

Honestly, after going through three homestudies my husband and I looked forward to them.  It was like mini-marriage counseling.  It’s nice talking to someone with your spouse about why you love them and why they will be a wonderful parent.  Many of my friends who had bio-children say that they wish they had to do a homestudy b/c it forces you to discuss issues (like discipline) which they don’t need to talk about until much later.  I find it crazy that they were jealous that they weren’t investigated!

And lastly, keep in mind that this homestudy is for your future child - not you.  And you’d do anything for your child to be, right?