We got a call on Thursday from our adotion agency. There is a baby due very soon and they want to send our profile to the birthmother. Of course we said yes. It felt right from the moment I took the call.

First thing that arises is the fees will be about $10,000 more than we expected because it is an out of state adoption and the legal fees are more.
Second thing, the birthmother may have been taking pain pills during the pregnancy.

My heart says this baby will be fine. But my siblings are making this huge deal over the fact that the baby may have withdrawals and could possibly end up with developmental problems. So now I am beggining to worry and get very nervous. It has been such a long road to get here in the first place, and they don’t understand because they could all concieve with no problem. I feel like you have to be more felxible when you are adopting. There are things that you would not do if you were pregnant, that you have to accept with an adoption. For instance I would not drink, smoke or do drugs if I were pregnant. And I have to accept that not all birthmothers will do the same thing. My family is just concerned for us, but they don’t know what we go thru on a daily basis with dealing with our infertility. I was not scared until I talked to my sister tonight. Now I am feel like I need to do research, but every thing I find in the internet does not have very much information. Does anyone know of a good place to find facts about pain killers in utero and its affects for the future of the baby? Because I need to know something more about this before I completely breakdown. So far my family has told me to just walk away, and that just doesn’t feel right to me. Please help!

Are any of your family doctors? I suspect not.

My suggestion is to ask a doctor. Looking on an internet site is probably not your best bet for an informed decision. Even if it is reliable information (which most websites are not), it cannot be adjusted to deal with this particular situation. It is only speaking in general terms.

I can only tell you about our situation.  We adopted our son knowing that he was exposed to meth during the pregnancy.  I contacted the pediatrician we were planning on using and asked all of my questions.  In the end there are no guarantee’s.  Our son is perfectly healthy and has been ahead of what he should be doing at every age.  If he does have learning dissabilites later in life we will deal with it then, but honestly he could have had that even if we had concieved him ourselves.  You and your husband need to make this decision on your own.  Your family has good intentions but like you said they don’t really know.

Hi, after adopting our first wonderful son and working on adopting our beautiful daughter. Both of them were exposed to meth from their birth mom.
They are both wonderfully normal.

Our advice would be to share as little information as possible with your family. I completely understand that you are excited and want to share with your family. We have a very loving and supportive family and couldn’t have made it through without their support. But, going through all we have through this at times difficult journey. Our kids came through the foster care system and we had many ups and downs. I have learned that it is sometimes best not to give the family to much information.

I don’t want to ramble on and I don’t want to discourage you from sharing information. I would just say to be careful about what and how much you share. The adoption journey and storey belong to our children not everyone should know all the details.

The best of luck to you. It is the most wonderful sometimes difficult rewarding journey you will ever take.

D & K’ Mom

hi ,. thanks for all.