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Acknowledgment of birth parents
Posted: 16 May 2010 02:41 PM   Ignore ]  
Total Posts:  4
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How do you cope with a spouse that is reluctant to acknowledge the importance of the birth family? My husband shuts down everytime I bring up our daughter’s birth parents. Our daughter is only 2 now, but I fear that this may become a problem in the future. He feels that I put too much emphasis on our daughter knowing who her birth parents are and acknowledging them. I feel that it is very important for our daughter to know who her birth parents are and to know that they love her, but were unable to raise her. We have pictures of my daughter’s birth parents and have some info on them, but we have not had contact with them by their choice. I personally would embrace contact and I think it would be great for our daughter to have some type of relationship with them. I am hoping that one day we will have contact so my daughter will know that she has two sets of wonderful parents who love her very much. My husband feels totally different and wants no contact at all. Does anyone have suggestions on how to deal with this and how to make my husband understand that showing reluctance to acknowledge our daughter’s birth parents may be damaging to her in the future?

Posted: 18 May 2010 06:21 AM   Ignore ]  
Total Posts:  4
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Thank you VERY much. Your advice is very sound and I feel we will benefit from it. Thank you again.

Posted: 28 July 2010 05:37 PM   Ignore ]  
Total Posts:  2
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My children are now 14 and 17 and I wish I had read a book called “Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wished Their Adoptive Parents Knew” YEARS ago.  It has been so very helpful to both my husband and I as we try to help our oldest child (son) deal with his sense of loss and rejection (common to all adopted children at some point in their lives - some more so than others).  It’s beautifully written and very insightful.  One of the topics deals directly with talking about the birth family (birth origin).  It’s an extremely critical part of your daughter’s life - one she must know about.  I encourage you and your husband to read this book together.  It will provide a wonderful conversation opener for each of you on some very difficult topics.  Best of luck and congratulations!